Marker Unveiling - The Cemetery

Good afternoon all,

Just a quick reminder that the unveiling of Mom's marker is on Sunday at 11:30 am. When you get to the cemetery (see below), you will enter in the gate off of Montrose Avenue. Then, make a right at the first intersection. On the right is the Carnation Section (YFC knows what you're thinking -- it should have been an Orchid or at least a Lily). Look for the number 22 painted in yellow at the side of curb.

Marker Unveiling:
Date: July 5, 2009
Time: 11:30 a.m.
Location: Westlawn Cemetery
7801 W Montrose Ave
Norridge, IL 60706

Click me if you need directions to Westlawn

Post-Marker Unveiling:
Date: July 5, 2009
Time: Immediately after we leave the cemetery
Location: Berba's house
4460 West Hutchinson
Chicago, IL 60641

Click me for directions from Westlawn to Berba's house

See you this Sunday...

Faithfully,
Corey

Marker Unveiling -- Further Details

Greetings to the FoMmie Nation,

When we last met, Your Faithful Correspondent promised that he'd provide you with additional details as they come to light. Well, it's light out now baby, so here's the skinny...as you already know, the marker unveiling will be Sunday, July 5th at Westlawn Cemetery at 11:30 a.m. After the marker unveiling, we'll be heading to B to the Erba's crib (that's be Aunt Roberta's house) for a little nosh to celebrate Mom's life (and really, what says "you lived a remarkable life on earth" better than a deli tray anyway?).

For those of you who have never been to a maker unveiling before, here's the 4-1-1: the immediate family should be at the site of the grave before the others arrive (of course, in our family 15 minutes late seems about the norm). Family and friends gather around the grave. The cantor will begin with the recitations from the book of psalms (Tillem) and then she follows with the eulogy. After this she will recite further psalms and ends with the Kaddish prayer. The veil covering the marker is removed immediately before recitation of the Kaddish.

Some of you neophytes may notice people leaving stones on the marker and will wonder what's going on. According to Rabbi Jeremy Schwartz (who sounds like such a nice boychik, no?):

The leaving of a pebble is in a way the erection of a small, new monument-a tomb-stone to honour the memory of the dead. Indeed, the custom may have evolved from an ancient method of marking graves. So in one sense, it is simply a way of saying: here lie the remains of a person worth remembering. And the pebble also lets others know that someone did come and remember. Symbolically, it suggests the continuing presence of love and memory which are as strong and enduring as a rock. And we know that one name for God is "The Rock of Israel." So the rock is a reminder of the presence of the Rock, Whose love truly is stronger than death.

So now you know.

Clip and save:

Marker Unveiling:
Date: July 5, 2009
Time: 11:30 a.m.
Location: Westlawn Cemetery
7801 W Montrose Ave
Norridge, IL 60706

Click me if you need directions to Westlawn

Post-Marker Unveiling:
Date: July 5, 2009
Time: Immediately after we leave the cememtery
Location: Berba's house
4460 West Hutchinson
Chicago, IL 60641

Click me for directions from Westlawn to Berba's house

YFC and 2 will see you soon.

Faithfully,
Corey

Marker Unveiling

Greetings FoMmies,

Several of you have called Michelle and/or me to ask about the unveiling of Mom's marker. Without further ado, here are the details:

Date: July 5, 2009
Time: 11:30 a.m.
Location: Westlawn Cemetery
7801 W Montrose Ave
Norridge, IL 60706

I'll provide you with additional details as they come to light.

My love to all,
Corey

A Big Revelation

My Dearest FoMmies,

Enticing title, no? Well fret not, for all shall be revealed in due time. First, we must address an important issue. It has been far too long and Your Faithful Correspondent is willing to shoulder the blame. Should YFC lose the coveted "F" in his name, thus becoming Your Correspondent? Ouch, that would hurt quite a bit. YFC/YC is not one to make excuses, but perhaps an explanation is in order...

You see, it's not that he hasn't been thinking about you (for you are always at the forefront of his thoughts), it's that he's been thinking a lot about Mom. And thinking about Mom can make him a bit emotional, so the urge to write wanes a bit. Actually that's not quite correct, it's just that the task of writing can appear a bit overwhelming when confronting these emotions. So that's it, the mea culpa, the story behind the story, the ugly truth, the whole enchillada -- YFC/YC throws himself at your mercy.

(Just an aside, but you can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but if everything is about what you expected, can you just be "whelmed"? YFC/YC thinks you should look into it and get back to him.)

Speaking of getting back to YFC/YC ...well, this is a doozy but here goes -- YFC/YC needs your help. Now you cheeky little monkeys are probably thinking that YFC/YC has needed help for quite sometime. Oh you are so very droll my dear simians, but can you stop acting like Jokey Jokerson and concentrate please? This is a serious matter, one of the highest order! That's right, we're in a Double Dog Dare Pinky Swear kind of situation. Never heard of it? Well, it was made up for just this occasion, that's how serious a matter it is.

Oh, for a change you've managed to make YFC/YC lose his focus. Now where were we? Right, help. Your mission, should you choose to accept it (and you shall accept it, oh yes, you shall) is to write a story. Of course there's a catch. It can't just be any old story, it has to be a story about Mom -- ideally about how she touched you in some way, big or small.

Now, as the ubiquitous they likes to say, the shoe is on the other foot. Or perhaps we should say the pen is in the other hand. Pardon? What's that, you say? You can see where the prospect of writing can be a bit overwhelming after all? Well isn't that just rich. When you callously dropped a letter from a certain someone's nom de plume, it all seemed like and games, didn't it? Save your blubbering, you'll get no sympathy here, not after the stunt you pulled. And anyhow, there's more to this tale than you realize, so blot your bleary eyes and then we'll continue.

But first, lunch.

And, we're back. Life seems so much nicer on a full stomach, no? Of course it does. Had a lovely spinach salad topped with poached salmon in case you wondered. Now back to bizness...

All rightie campers YFC/YC is going to put this out there for one and all: The Faithful One is going to write a book. If mere blogging can be intimidating, imagine what the prospect of writing a book must be like (just between us, a shipment of Depends should be arriving from Amazon later this afternoon). As you may have guessed, the subject of YFC/YC's master work is none other than Mom herself. Naturally, your stories will be an integral part of the project. Not that you'll have your name on the dustcover, nor even in the dedication. But there's a very good chance that the letters in your name will appear within the book. So, for example, when you read the word "chemotherapy", you'll know that the second "e" is a special tribute to Y-O-U.

That's assuming that you have an "e" in your name, of course. And if not, well, it's still a tribute, just not a very good one.

Moving on...

Melvin the Wonder Sis is doing well. She's still flying the friendly skies, though she let's on that things aren't quite as friendly as they once were. Rumor has it that she's planning a trip to Reno in the very near future.

The Favorite Child is also quite well, thanks for asking. He's still doing the law talking guy routine with grace and panache. No surprise there really. In fact, if Audrey Hepburn could be reincarnated into masculine form *blamo* she'd be YFC/YC.

Now what are you waiting for? Start writing!

Be good kiddies (it really has been too long).

Faithfully,
Corey

P.S.
A belated happy Year of the Ox to one and all.

We Can't Say Thank You Enough

Greetings FoMmies,

It's been a long time since Your Faithful Correspondent reached out to you and if truth be told there's a reason for that. You see, Loyal Readers, YFC was tired. Not just physically, but spiritually and emotionally too.

Mom's passing has taken YFC and his trusty Sidekick (that'd be Michelle, who's been elevated from #2 status) on an emotional roller coaster. And not one of them new-fangled roller coasters either, we're talking the low-tech, extra-rickety variety where you wanna vomit immediately upon disembarking from the ride. In other words, the no fun kind.

Some days are better than others. On Labor Day I spent time with my friend Sue and her family. Chloe, Sue's 3-year old daughter, asked me several times where Mom was and Yours Truly got pretty choked up. Later, we took a walk to the park and YFC asked Chloe who her best friend was. "You are," she replied (it goes without saying that Chloe is exceptionally bright for her age, this statement merely confirms it). YFC then asked "who's my best friend?" to which she responded "Sharon."

From the mouth of babes...

In other news, good friends Kim & Nathan, who did a yeoman's job of supporting YFC when he needed it most, will be making a return to the Windy City this weekend. Also, YFC will be volunteering at the Lustgarten Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk on Sunday. Kim, like the trooper that she is, has offered to volunteer as well. It should be a bit emotional, but Your Faithful Correspondent is tough (though if worse comes to worse, Kim will just have to carry him home).

Things on the home front have been...erm...challenging. It's interesting seeing how people respond in a situation like this. Some people fold like a deck of cards (certainly not YOU, but that guy 3 names down on the e-mail list...simply awful), whereas others are like a rock (and still others are like a giant cliche from Clicheland, which attacks much like Godzilla attacked Tokyo, except instead of breathing fire, the weapon of choice is trite analogies). Hmm, there must be a point to this somewhere...ah yes, people. Well, the rock people have really, erm...rocked (note: find new editor/copywriter). The cards and phone calls of support that we've received are still so very much appreciated. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And YFC thanks YOU especially.

(The Sidekick would want me to express her thanks too, but she can write her own blog)

Ah what the heck, our most heartfelt thanks.

Faithfully,
Corey

It's been a while...

Greetings Loyal Readers,

Well, as always, the title says it all. It's been a while since we last got together, so I figure that an update, of sorts, is in order.

Michelle and I were so busy in Mom's final days and the days that followed, that it was as if time collapsed onto itself. Days blended into one another with little distinction. It was pretty hard resuming a routine that had any semblance of normality. Instead, we were busy trying to attend to the many tasks which needed to be handled in the aftermath of Mom's passing. Many friends and family rushed to our aid, which made a terrible process just a little more bearable.

It still doesn't seem like things are quite real and I'm not really sure that I want things to sink in. Being in a state of semi-denial has its advantages, I suppose. Given the reality of the situation, I think its a safer place to be right now.

These days, the hardest time for me is when I'm praying. In the Jewish tradition, mourners are supposed to say a prayer called the "Mourners' Kadish" every day for eleven months minus a day (I have no idea why it lasts for such a seemingly odd amount of time, but my Cousinie Scott, the über Jew confirmed it). I often have a difficult time getting through the prayer, despite its brevity. Still, I say the prayer faithfully every day, sometimes more when I'm thinking a lot about Mom.

Actually I thought about Mom a lot over the weekend, which I spent in Cleveland, Ohio (the 33rd largest city in the U.S. in case you're wonderin') visiting my friends Kim and Nathan. Kim, who celebrated her birthday on Sunday, ran/biked in a charity biathalon and raised over $3,200 for a Jewish social services agency in Mom's name. I was extremely proud of Kim and I know that Mom would have been too.

Many thanks to those of you who sent photographs of Mom. It means far more than I can express. Our family is also deeply appreciative for everyone's support in what continues to be a difficult time.

Faithfully,
Corey

P.S.
I recently received the remarks spoken by Rachel Rosenberg, who officiated Mom's funeral service. I've pasted them below.

----

Our rabbis teach us, that when a parent who has taught her children passes on, that passing is not a death. As long as the children live, there is a part of the parent that cannot die. When alive, a parent rejoices with children; in death, that parent will not grieve.

This is the case, I believe, with Sharon Novick. During her lifetime, although it was cut short by her illness, she was able to teach her children, extended family, and many, many friends, so many valuable lessons – above all, to live each day to its fullest and to love life. As we share some memories of this remarkable woman,

We extend to all of you our sympathy and support, especially to you -

Her children, Michelle and Corey
To Roberta and Marc
Aaron and Haley
Judy, Larry, Zack and Jake
To her mom, Beverly
To Russell
To Ting
and to all of her family and many friends

Sharon’s mom Beverly said “There are not enough adjectives to describe her.” But I thought I’d share just a few of the phrases that you, her family, used to describe Sharon and I know that everyone here will relate to these words that describe this remarkable woman:

• Extremely generous to everyone she knew
• Always giving, always thinking of others over herself
• Intuitive about other people’s needs/
• Taking ACTION to address other people’s needs
• Never complaining
• Humble
• Accepting of others of all ages, backgrounds, and orientations
• Sweet, kind, warm
• Nurturing
• A second mother
• A Jewish mother
• Always reaching out to help you – and your friends - and the friends of your friends
• Respectful
• Always teaching
• Always learning
• Artistic
• Spiritual
• Strong
• A fighter
• One in a million

That Sharon gave so much of herself to others, to all of you, has been especially evident over the last several weeks and months with the tremendous outpouring of love and support she constantly received from so many people, from her family and friends, from her building’s doorman to the waitress from the restaurant – so many dozens of caring individuals -- that her doctors were constantly saying she had too many visitors and needed to rest. The blog that Corey lovingly has maintained was read by so many, and these last few weeks have truly been a tribute to her as family, friends, neighbors, and people from all over have flocked to be with her.

Sharon grew up on the North Side of Chicago, went to Senn High School and the University of Illinois. She was married to Ivan for 14 years and together they had their children, Michelle and Corey.

Some of you may not know that when Sharon was only sixteen, she had her first bout with cancer. She needed surgery and was given a 5% chance for survival. She was strong then as she continued to be her entire life. Perhaps this experience can partially explain how much Sharon appreciated her life each and every day, and put so much care and nurturing into her relationships with others.

Sharon was constantly reaching out to people, forming relationships with whomever she met. On Kim’s first day of work when HR forgot that she was starting, Sharon took her under her wing and they became fast friends. When a new neighbor would move into her building, Sharon would send cookies. She would throw parties for the people who worked at Treasure Island to show her appreciation. She helped Aaron cope with the loss of his eyesight helping him to become self-sufficient. She accompanied Roberta to the California Health Institute to help her heal from her cancer. She would take food to a sick neighbor or take the initiative to accompany them to the doctor even if they wouldn’t ask. She would always go out of her way to say thank you as she did with her nurse in the hospital. She would hold her nurse’s hand, say thank you, smile, want to give HER food. Corey said that his mom’s true character emerged when she was ill – she became even more sweet, kind and generous.

To show how truly special Sharon is to so many people, her cousin Scott wrote these words on behalf of those who knew and loved her:

We always knew we were Sharon’s favorite anything – child, parent, sibling, niece, cousin, friend, acquaintance…. Not to be conceited but because every time you saw her or spoke to her she made you feel this way. I humbly acknowledge that she did that with everyone. I am sure that looking at the people here today that they all think they were Sharon’s favorite -- and we all know she was ours.

Sharon is an inspiration for all who knew her. She never had an attitude of “woe is me.” She fought her cancer head-on with courage and dignity, never really complaining. She always talked about how other people were doing with their lives or illnesses, not wanting to be consumed by hers.

Corey and Michelle were not only her pride and joy but her rock these past 14 months. They could not do enough for her, not out of obligation, but out of love and devotion.

Sharon formed a truly special relationship over the past six years. Zoe was her godchild, and Sharon was Zoe’s fairy godmother. (Zoe’s mother Ting is here today.) Zoe would call Sharon “Shanti,” and other children would also refer to her this way –

As “Shanti” meaning Peace. Sharon would constantly send Zoe mail and packages after she moved away to Reno. When Sharon would ask Zoe if she liked Chicago or Reno better, 6-year old Zoe answered, “Shanti, you live in Chicago, so of course Chicago is my favorite.” Children loved being with her and were another example of Sharon’s intuitive ability to relate to others of all ages and meet them at their level.

Everyone who knew Sharon knows how very spiritual she was and how she shared her spirit with those around her. She expressed herself spiritually through the combination of both yoga and Torah, and also through her art as she loved to paint. She was ordained as a swami several years ago and also began to study Judaism in earnest over the last few years, gaining insight from the teachings of Rebetzin Yungreis and Rabbi Twersky and with her study partner from the “Partners in Torah” program. When Sharon was diagnosed this time with cancer, while she fought it with her characteristic strength and courage, she also said “Baruch Hashem” blessing God no matter what. She would regularly light Shabbat candles, kept kosher, and would say “Modeh Ani” each morning, thanking God for the gift of each new day.

Corey and Michelle described how their mom worked hard to discover herself after she divorced, and how over time she became comfortable with who she was, finding ways to be at peace with herself and with her place in the world. During her last days in hospice, she was especially full of grace and beauty. She had a loving and peaceful transition because of who she was, wrapped in the prayer shawl from her guru and in and her father’s tallis, and being at peace in her children’s arms. When asked if she was afraid, she answered – “of course not – I’m going to dance with God.” And so, at the end, she asked to remain barefoot for that reason.

There are a few people who would like to share their memories of Sharon – first her cousin, Toby, and then her children, Corey and Michelle.

Toby
Michelle
Corey

So – although we so wish that we had more time on this earth with Sharon, hers was a full life that gave so much to those who loved her. Her memory lives on through all of you – her friends, her family, her children. She lives on through the many wise lessons she has taught us through her words and by her example:

- to live life and to love life as fully as possible
- to be real, to be genuine
- To be generous with your time and with your love
- To drink your MILK – m-i-l-k, MILK
- To know it’s ok to make mistakes – it’s ok to be human - Learn to fall, Learn to get back up.
- Make peace. Rise above the fray.
- If you’re not happy with your situation, change it. If you can’t change your situation, change your attitude.
- Believe in yourself.
- Don’t talk, Do.
- Be strong.
- Say thank you.
- Don’t wait for someone to bring you flowers – plant your own garden.
- Know that no act of kindness is ever wasted.
- Share the unconditional love that she shared with each of you

I’d like to share this poem that seems to reflect Sharon’s beautiful spirit and marvelous attitude. It’s called:

“Do not stand at my grave and weep.”

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft starts that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Eulogies

Michelle and I would like to thank the many people who attended Mom's funeral (the room was standing room only, which was a tribute to the many people that Mom touched) and the shivah last week. It was a beautiful service for a beautiful woman.

Mom deserved nothing less.

Michelle and I were asked by several people to post our eulogies online...


Michelle's Eulogy:

Baruch Hashem. Bless G-d.

Oh great spirit, saints and sages of all religions, holy Kriya lineage, please bless Sharon, my Mom, today.

Please fill her with love, peace and happiness. Please bring to her that which she needs. And that which she feels she needs. Surely, swiftly and most, most harmoniously. May her transition be a journey of ease. May she be blessed. May she be blessed. May she be triply blessed - As she has been a blessing to others.

Aum tat sa ohm.

My Mother is light and beauty. Of pure love, of pure heart, of pure spirit. I am the luckiest daughter. To be selfish, I would wish for more time with my Mother. But I know in my heart that she will always be with me, with all of us.

She touched all of you in a different way, but you all know her love, and for that, we are truly blessed.

I love you, Mommy. Be at peace.


Corey's Eulogy:

"One sees clearly only with the heart, the essential is invisible to the eyes." That quote, from the Little Prince, in many ways encapsulates how Mom lived her life -- with her heart. She didn’t see race or religion or national origin. She didn’t care about gender or sexual orientation or social status. Mom cared about people. All people.

And when Mom was with people, she had a way of making everyone feel special. She accepted people for how they were, and saw the potential for who they could be --- usually before they could see it in themselves. Mom just had a natural ease around people and she intuitively knew what they needed. Our former neighbor John told me a story that, shortly after Mom moved to her apartment on Lake Shore Drive, he went for a visit. Though he didn’t say anything, Mom could tell that he was just a bit uncomfortable. Mom said, “I know what you need” and excused herself to the other room, only to return in a robe, thereby putting John at ease. Mom wasn’t about appearances.

Her grace was effortless because it was innate. Mom used to tell Michelle and me that, “no act of kindness is ever wasted.” It’s a beautiful sentiment, and it’s one that Mom lived everyday. Michelle and Mom used to buy make-up together and one day they heard that the girl that used to help them was in the hospital. She asked if the girl had any family with her and when she was told no, she took Michelle to the hospital because she didn’t want the girl to be alone. As it turned out the girls her mother was there and she asked Mom why she had come. Because, my Mom explained, as a mother, I’d want somebody to do the same for my child. As fate would have it, the girl – Betsy – and her Mom – Mary – would later become Mom’s neighbors and friends. Mom gave without thinking because it was the right thing to do. And she didn’t know how to be any other way.

I received so many wonderful gifts from my Mom – my love of reading (the Little Prince was one of our favorite books), my love of whimsy, and my sense of humor (sorry Dad). I remember one time, when I was just a young boy and we were still living in Florida; my tooth fell out but I didn’t tell anyone. I placed it under my pillow and was extremely disappointed that the tooth fairy hadn’t arrived. I told my Mom the next morning and, without a moment’s hesitation she reached into her purse and pulled out a piece of paper. I was told that it was a note from the Tooth Fairy that read the following “Dear Mrs. Novick, I had some difficulty getting into Corey’s room last night. Please give him the enclosed dollar bill. Signed – The Tooth Fairy.”

Mom loved to travel and she took Michelle and me on trips across the globe. One of my favorite memories from our travels was from a trip to New York. We had taken some breadsticks with us so we could have a snack as we walked around the city. Michele was surprised to see Mom eating the breadsticks shortly after we started walking.

“Mom” she exclaimed, “are you eating your breadsticks already?”

“No” Mom replied. “I’m eating yours.”

Michelle and I were so lucky to have our Mom for a Mother. She showed us how to deal with adversity. Mom had many ailments in her life and when she was a teenager she had cancer of the thyroid and the parathyroid. When she worried that an operation would leave a scar, my Bubby told her that she had to be strong and Mom never complained after that. And later when Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, she again refused to complain. Instead she said Baruch hashem. Bless G-d. She was more than a Mother; she was also a role model.

But perhaps most of all, Mom was our friend. Mom would always be there to listen and to laugh, to give advice without judgment and to encourage us. She would support us in whatever we attempted and we knew that regardless of the outcome, Mom would be proud of us just for trying.

Michelle and I were Mom’s pride and joy, but by no means were we her only children. She became a second mother to many of our friends. Often times they’d call Mom or want to spend time with her even when we weren’t around because they loved her too. When Michelle’s best friend Ting gave birth to her daughter Zoe, Mom was in the delivery room. Zoe called Mom “Shanti” which means peace in Sanskrit. And when Michelle was named Zoe’s godmother, Mom became Zoe’s fairy Godmother. And Mom loved her very much.

When she was working at Arrington travel, Mom’s co-workers made a plaque for her that said “Mother Novick” because our Mom was always the person that people could turn to when they needed a sympathetic ear. Or a shoulder to cry on. Or just a hug.

Our Mom was a mother to so many people and her friends were like an extended family. As everybody knows, families spend holidays together and Mom would use such occasions to open her house to her friends, some of whom had no other place to go. And if they had friends, well, they’d be welcome too. And invariably, they too would fall under Mom’s spell of warmth, and compassion, and grace.

When Mom realized that she had taken a turn for the worse, she didn’t worry about her own condition. Instead, she asked my friends to take care of her boy. That was Mom, selfless to the end.

When Mom was hospitalized it became stunningly clear that Mom had touched so many, so deeply. The visitors -- Mom’s extended family -- poured in from everywhere: Nevada, Wisconsin, Florida, Arizona, Ohio, Taipei and London. It became hard to keep track of everyone, as Mom’s visitors overflowed from her room and soon took over an entire waiting area as well.

One of the things that really struck me was that Mom’s visitors came from every walk of life. I was particularly moved when one of the doormen from Mom’s building came by to see her. He had changed into his street clothes and sat by Mom’s bedside. He held her hand. And she held his. And he kissed her hand. And Mom kissed his back. A waitress from the restaurant in Mom’s building came to visit on her off day and cried at Mom’s bedside. Mom’s impact on people was very deep and everlasting.

I was always close with my Mom, but when she got diagnosed with cancer, we became that much closer. We worked together on a blog called the chemo chronicle. And when I was a bit late in putting up a posting, she’s ask if I’d written her blog yet. Although I didn’t even realize it at the time, even as we were posting details of her battle with cancer, she was still mothering me, helping to re-ignite my love of writing, which had been dormant for so long. Even in her time of sickness Mom was still trying to help me and to guide me.

Though the past 14 months were incredibly difficult, they were in many ways the best time of my life because I was able to spend so much time with Mom – going to chemo and doctors appointments, working on the blog, having dinner, running errands. It wasn’t so much what we were doing, it was that we were doing it together. It was such a blessing to be with Mom and to be able to give back to her because she’d given so much to so many. And she was always thankful. And gracious. Because that’s the only way she knew how to be.

Mom died peacefully while Michelle and I were holding her in our arms. At the time of her passing, it seemed like the world was coming to an end. And at that time I wish it had. But we’ve received so much support from those who loved Mom and from those who love us – from Mom’s family, biological and extended alike -- I know that, although we're going to miss Mom dearly, we're eventually going to be ok.

There’s another passage from The Little Prince that I can almost hear Mom speaking to us now. It reads, "People have stars, but they aren't the same. For travelers, the stars are guides. For other people, they're nothing but tiny lights. And for still others, for scholars, they're problems. For my businessman, they were gold. But all those stars are silent stars. You, though, you'll have stars like nobody else.”

“When you look up at the sky at night, since I'll be living on one of them, since I'll be laughing on one of them, for you, it'll be as if all the stars are laughing. You'll have stars that can laugh!"

And she laughed.

“And when you're consoled (everyone is eventually consoled), you'll be glad you've known me. You'll always be my friend. You'll feel like laughing with me. And you'll open your windows sometimes just for the fun of it... And your friends will be amazed to see you laughing while you're looking up at the sky. Then you'll tell them, 'Yes, it's the stars. They always make me laugh!"

Though Mom’s body is no longer with us, we can take comfort in knowing that Mom will remain forever in our hearts. We are all better people for having known her, for having been touched by her, for loving her and for being loved by her. And when time goes by and you find yourself thinking about Mom, just remember to look up at the stars in the sky.

And laugh with her.

I love you Mommy.

Arrangements

Funeral:

July 15, 2008

12:00 p.m. (noon)

Weinstein Funeral Home

111 Skokie Boulevard

Wilmette, Illinois 60091

(847) 256-5700

Interment:

(immediately following the service)

Westlawn Cemetery

7801 W. Montrose Avenue

Norridge, Illinois 60706

(773) 625-8600

Shivah:

(July 15-17th)

4460 W. Hutchinson

Chicago, IL 60641

(773) 205-6030

Shivah

Shivah Call

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to:

The Temple of Kriya Yoga
2414 N. Kedzie Boulevard
Chicago, IL 60647
(773) 342-4600

-or-

The Lustgarten Foundation for Pancreatic Research
To Donate Online

Transition

Dearest FoMmies,

This morning, just after sunrise, Mom peacefully transitioned.  Michelle and I were holding her at the time.

Mom was a beautiful, kind and gentle woman.  Her love knew no bounds. 

Our family will be forever grateful to those of you who have laughed, cried and been there for Mom, especially over the past 14 months.  We can never thank you enough.

Keep Mom in your prayers.  Baruch Hashem.

Faithfully,

Corey and Michelle

A Surprise Twist (You might want to get the Kleenex)

Good afternoon FoMmies,

Many of you know that Mom is an extremely spiritual person.  She's had her chart read many times and several things appeared repeatedly, including the fact that Michelle and I would each be happily married and Mom would re-marry.  When Mom was first diagnosed she said that she knew she'd beat cancer because she wasn't married yet.  She repeated this refrain many more times, most recently, during her stay at the hospital.  

Then, last night something magical happened.

Mom got re-married.

Perhaps it's necessary to take a step back for a moment.  Russell (Mom's BFF) and Mom used to talk about how they should have been married.  Then a few days ago, Russell was talking to Michelle and me and again said that Mom was the closest thing to a wife that he would ever have.  Then he asked Mom to marry him.  

And Mom smiled.

Last  night, Mom wed Russell underneath my Papa's (maternal grandfather) tallis (prayer shawl; see photo at left).  The gathering itself was small (in attendance were: Bubby, Berba, Carol, Michelle, me, and the bride and groom) but the impact was immense.  Michelle, who like Mom is an ordained swami, performed the service.  After the vows Mom and Russell sipped coconut milk mixed with honey to symbolize the fact that their union should always be sweet.  Then we feasted on wedding cake -- technically two wedding cakes, a carrot cake and a turtle pie -- a sweet end to a very sweet evening.

When I used to attend weddings with Mom, I'd often be caught mumbling "Mom!" under my breath because, inevitably, she'd cry during the ceremony.  Mom's spirit must have been with me, for last night it was yours truly who provided the waterworks.  I think that the wedding was especially important because I believe that Mom can now go in peace.

...

This afternoon the hospice nurse informed Michelle and me that Mom was actively dying.  She doesn't have much time, she's unlikely to make it through the weekend and can probably hold out a week at most.  Needless to say, this has been an incredibly emotional time, and we are especially thankful that so many wonderful people have been there to lend their support.  In fact, just moments ago, Mom's neighbor Nina volunteered her home for use by overnight guests.  Of course, this brings to mind the logistics of the coming days...

I will try to post the details of what's going to happen online.  It will probably be far easier than trying to call everyone, so please check your e-mail frequently over the coming week.

Please pray that Mom has a swift and painless transition.

Faithfully,

Corey