My Dearest FoMmies,
Enticing title, no? Well fret not, for all shall be revealed in due time. First, we must address an important issue. It has been far too long and Your Faithful Correspondent is willing to shoulder the blame. Should YFC lose the coveted "F" in his name, thus becoming Your Correspondent? Ouch, that would hurt quite a bit. YFC/YC is not one to make excuses, but perhaps an explanation is in order...
You see, it's not that he hasn't been thinking about you (for
you are always at the forefront of his thoughts), it's that he's been thinking a lot about Mom. And thinking about Mom can make him a bit emotional, so the urge to write wanes a bit. Actually that's not quite correct, it's just that the task of writing can appear a bit overwhelming when confronting these emotions. So that's it, the mea culpa, the story behind the story, the ugly truth, the whole enchillada -- YFC/YC throws himself at your mercy.
(Just an aside, but you can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but if everything is about what you expected, can you just be "whelmed"? YFC/YC thinks you should look into it and get back to him.)
Speaking of getting back to YFC/YC ...well, this is a doozy but here goes -- YFC/YC needs your help. Now you cheeky little monkeys are probably thinking that YFC/YC has needed help for quite sometime. Oh you are so very droll my dear simians, but can you stop acting like Jokey Jokerson and concentrate please? This is a serious matter, one of the highest order! That's right, we're in a Double Dog Dare Pinky Swear kind of situation. Never heard of it? Well, it was made up for just this occasion, that's how serious a matter it is.
Oh, for a change you've managed to make YFC/YC lose his focus. Now where were we? Right, help. Your mission, should you choose to accept it (and you shall accept it, oh yes, you shall) is to write a story. Of course there's a catch. It can't just be any old story, it has to be a story about Mom -- ideally about how she touched you in some way, big or small.
Now, as the ubiquitous they likes to say, the shoe is on the other foot. Or perhaps we should say the pen is in the other hand. Pardon? What's that, you say? You can see where the prospect of writing can be a bit overwhelming after all? Well isn't that just rich. When you callously dropped a letter from a certain someone's nom de plume, it all seemed like and games, didn't it? Save your blubbering, you'll get no sympathy here, not after the stunt you pulled. And anyhow, there's more to this tale than you realize, so blot your bleary eyes and then we'll continue.
But first, lunch.
And, we're back. Life seems so much nicer on a full stomach, no? Of course it does. Had a lovely spinach salad topped with poached salmon in case you wondered. Now back to bizness...
All rightie campers YFC/YC is going to put this out there for one and all: The Faithful One is going to write a book. If mere blogging can be intimidating, imagine what the prospect of writing a book must be like (just between us, a shipment of Depends should be arriving from Amazon later this afternoon). As you may have guessed, the subject of YFC/YC's master work is none other than Mom herself. Naturally, your stories will be an integral part of the project. Not that you'll have your name on the dustcover, nor even in the dedication. But there's a very good chance that the letters in your name will appear within the book. So, for example, when you read the word "chemotherapy", you'll know that the second "e" is a special tribute to Y-O-U.
That's assuming that you have an "e" in your name, of course. And if not, well, it's still a tribute, just not a very good one.
Moving on...
Melvin the Wonder Sis is doing well. She's still flying the friendly skies, though she let's on that things aren't quite as friendly as they once were. Rumor has it that she's planning a trip to Reno in the very near future.
The Favorite Child is also quite well, thanks for asking. He's still doing the law talking guy routine with grace and panache. No surprise there really. In fact, if Audrey Hepburn could be reincarnated into masculine form *blamo* she'd be YFC/YC.
Now what are you waiting for? Start writing!
Be good kiddies (it really has been too long).
Faithfully,
Corey
P.S.
A belated happy Year of the Ox to one and all.
ows what you're thinking -- it should have been an Orchid or at least a Lily). Look for the number 22 painted in yellow at the side of curb.
