Greetings to all

Dear Kriyananda, Rabbi Walter, Family and Friends,

As the year comes to a close, I reflect on how grateful I am. On June 5th I was told that my prognosis was six months to a year. Today I have happily passed the six month marker, and I am looking to pass many more milestones in the future. I am eagerly looking forward to RFA (radio-frequency ablation) the first week of January. With all of the prayers and blessings I have received and continue to receive I am sure this procedure will attack the liver tumor and cause it to shrink completely. Of course, YFC will keep you abreast of my progress.

Your outpouring of love and support has been tremendous not only to me but to Corey and Michelle as well. I thank you for your all that you have done to aid me in this journey . I wish you each joy and happiness in the coming New Year. May you be blessed, may you be blessed, may you be triply blessed.

Much love and appreciation,
Sharon

The Penultimate Chemo Chronicle of 2007 (Probably)

Greetings Loyal Readers!

We have a mighty big Chronicle in store for you today. Well, probably. YFC doesn't really plan out each edition of The Chronicle, it just sort of unfolds. That said, you might wanna pull up a comfy chair (or one of those inflatable doughnut things if you need 'em), methinks that it's gonna be a long one...


As my oh-so-smart readers know, if today is Tuesday, it must be a chemo day. Wait, did you catch that? Of course it's not Tuesday, it's Wednesday...YFC just wanted to see if you were paying attention...he's such a silly goose! It's a BIG day today. Not only is Mom is visiting with the Cotton Troll, but Cousinie Scott has graced us with his presence. Yes, today Cousinie Scott is being inducted as a Chemo Buddy and we couldn't be prouder (Melvin thought it was no big deal, but Mom and I sure do...welcome to the fraternity, cuz). Yes, Melvin the Wonder Sis made it too...and YFC was able to capture the moment on his new digital camera (but more on that in just a bit).

Let's first me onto the chemo front...well, you know that appointment that Mom had scheduled with Dr. Mellott? Troll's being what they are (just be clear: never trust anyone who spends their free time hanging out under bridges) there was a mix-up with the scheduling. Accordingly, Mom will see her on Friday.

And sadly, we got the news that Mom's chemo will be pushed off to Friday as well. Mom's platelets were too low for chemo. Her platelets registered an 83 and they should be at 100 to have chemo (though she once was able to take treatment at 95), so it'll be put off for a couple of days. Hopefully Mom and Cotton Troll will be able to put their heads together (Mom a regular human head, Cotton, a slightly elongated troll-like visage with white hairs popping up in unexpected places).

Well, a missed appointment would normally be cause for disappointment, but for Mom and YFC it just meant that we got to spend more time with Cousinie. After Mom was told that we weren't going to have chemo today, Cousinie exclaimed "well let's blow this popsicle stand!" YFC calmly explained that this term hasn't actually been used since 1995. It wan't particularly clever then, and the dozen years since it was last used didn't improve matters any. Chaos ensued. Cousinie yelled, "let's make like a tree and leave" and again YFC was put in the unfortunate position of having to explain that his lingo was dated, in this case to 1996 (at least Cousinie was making progress, albeit slowly). "We are so outta here!" -- phrase circa 1997. Finally Mom just said "let's go to lunch" and so we did exactly that, with Scottie sulking all the way.

Lunch with Cousinie was quite yummy and it was nice to catch-up on the family gossip (one of our cousins has webbed feet! Who knew?). Still, the most important news was that Cousin Lauren (or as Scottie alternately calls her "daugher Lauren", "Lauren" and "Hey you kid that takes all my money") is doing quite well after her recent diagnosis with Crohn's disease. The entire staff of The Chemo Chronicle -- from the editor, to the reporters, to various and sundry administrative personnel -- wish Lauren well.

Well, for a day that didn't have chemo there's certainly a lot to catch up on. Last Saturday Mom, Melvin and YFC spent an evening with Uncle Russell (a/k/a Uncle Rusty, Papa, and our very own Kris Kringle). It was truly a glorious evening. Not only did we enjoy Papa's company, but we got kickass presents to boot! In fact, the very pictures that you're seeing in today's Chronicle come courtesy of the new digital camera that YFC received from his dear sweet Uncle. Speaking of, YFC is shameless (hard to believe, but true). He rather likes getting gifts, so to ensure that Uncle can continue his generous ways, be sure to stop by Colletti Gallery on Oak Street the next time you want to buy an antique poster or three. Plus, if you whisper the words "Your Faithful Correspondent" you get a generous 2% off the purchase of your new (well, new to you) Tolouse-Lautrec. When you think about it, this deal really works for everyone. You know how you're always writing to say that seeing YFC smile provides you with the warmth of a thousand suns? Well, if you go to the Gallery, Uncle Rusty will be happy. In turn, he'll have money for presents thereby making YFC happy. And as we've pretty much established, when YFC is happy the whole world is happy.


Yesterday, we dined at Chez Berba for the non-Christmas Christmas dinner. Aunt Roberta spurned the traditional Chinese feast and instead served a delicious prime rib. YFC was lucky enough to have a large hunk of meat tumble onto his shirt last night, so while typing he is simultaneously sucking on the juicy remnants of last night's spill. Mom's contribution to our non-holiday meal was an unbelievably good salad (hard to imagine that it could be so scrumptious), while YFC contributed as a raconteur, chauffeur, and as an all-around good egg.


Well, there will surely be a Friday update. Until then remember that, much like YFC is the favorite child, YOU are his favorite reader.

Faithfully,
Corey

Ho Ho Ho

Greetings Loyal Readers,

Well, today is December 25th so there's no chemo today. Mom and YFC are at Aunt Berba's house along with UM (Uncle Marc) and Bubbles the Clown (that'd be Bubby) and we will soon be sitting down to a succulent prime rib meal. Your Faithful Correspondent can hardly wait 'cause prime rib is a personal favorite. If there's one thing that's better than prime rib, it's prime rib with horseradish sauce, so YFC made sure to bring his own (not so sure about sharing it though).

Tomorrow Mom goes for her treatment with special guest chemo buddy Cousinie Scott Pawlow. We don't get to see our Cousinie as much as we'd like (though Cousinie lives in the suburbs, he commutes to one of YFC's most favorite cities -- Toronto, Canada...pretty wicked commute, eh?). Of course, what dear Cousine doesn't realize is that part of the chemo buddy initiation process (read: hazing process) includes doing YFC's bidding. Of course, he's a good guy, so YFC will probably limit the errands to shoe polishing, sammich getting, and topping off the tank with petrol (not necessarily in that order). This will be barrels o' fun (for YFC anyway) and you'll see it all when you read tomorrow's posting.

Ah yes, tomorrow's posting. Sadly, loyal readers, today's update must be cut short for a little family time. Be sure be on the lookout for tomorrow's expanded edition of The Chemo Chronicle.

Hope you're having a FoMtastic holiday...

Faithfully,
Corey

A Remote Update

Greetings Loyal Readers,

YFC is blogging to you remotely, from the rocking town of Milwaukee, otherwise known as Rockin' MKE (for those of you not in the know, that's the code for General Mitchell International Airport). What is YFC doing in Old Milwaukee (which, contrary to popular opinion, does NOT taste as great as it's name and come to think of it, the name doesn't exactly conjure up gourmet images either)? An excellent question my dear sweet reader. YFC is here visiting Justina, a/k/a Dr. Tseng, the wanna be Ju (well, she is a Ju, but she wants to be a Jew...long story), helping her get some stuff together in connection with the opening of her new practice.

But mere distance cannot keep YFC from his appointed tasks. As my loyal readers know, if today is Tuesday than it must be a blog day. Just to be clear, YFC's motto should not be confused with those other famous Tuesday mottos such as J. Wellington Wimpy ("I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today") and Mitch Albom's "Tuesdays with Morrie" (hmm....ol' Mitch had Tuesdays with Morrie and you're spending Tuesday's with Corey).

A little disruption to the scheduled plan of events today...as faithful readers know, Cousinie Scott scheduled his Chemo Buddy appointment and was planning to come for a visit today. Unfortunately, his daughter Lauren has taken ill so he was unable to come today (though he has already rescheduled for next week -- such a trooper my cousinie is!). On behalf of all the staff here at The Chemo Chronicle, we wish Lauren a very speedy recovery. So, sitting in for Cousinie, who was in turn sitting in for YFC was none other than our very own Bubby (little known fact, during The War, she provided extra income to her family by performing at kids' parties as Bubbles the Clown).

Bubbles...err...Bubby and Mom reported that today's chemo session went swimmingly. Mom's white blood count was a bit low, but she was still able to have her treatment. The upshot is that she just needs to be mindful of washing her hands (no doubt she should be especially vigilant when coming into contact with Sister). YFC knows that many of my loyal readers will want to see Mom during the holiday season, so please remember, if you're feeling a bit under the weather, it's best to reschedule. No need to take chances, ya know? Finally, the radiofrequency ablation of Mom's liver tumor is scheduled for the first week of January. Needless to say, we're all on pins and needles (bonus points if you caught the reference...that means you've been paying attention) waiting for the procedure.

Otherwise Mom is doing well, YFC is always great and Sis is...well she tries hard and really that's what counts. Speaking about what counts, they say it's the thought that counts, but it's also pretty cool when you get a good present too. A little birdie whispered to YFC that Uncle Rusty might be getting him a new digital camera for the holidays. But here's the kicker -- he's getting it so YFC can bring you pictures and video(!) into The Chemo Chronicle. That makes the gift both awesomely cool and thoughtful...thanks in advance to my favorite Italian uncle and my third favorite Italian of all-time (behind only Chef Boyardee and Mama Celeste). In fact Melvin was so pleased to hear the news that she once again resorted to dance, as captured in this archival footage:

Be on the lookout for next week's special edition of The Chemo Chronicle. Until then, best wishes for surviving the holiday season.

Faithfully,

Corey

The Good News

Greetings Loyal Readers,

I'm in the examination room now with Mom and Doc Cotton. Here's the skinny...well, it has been confirmed, the cancer in Mom's pancreas has been eradicated. Well, perhaps to be more precise, the doctors don't see any cancerous cells in her pancreas, though there is always the possibility that a few stray cells remain. Still the Troll has said that this is excellent news (of course, we knew that already) and that Mom's progress is better than the norm (not only did we expect nothing less from Mom, we would have accepted nothing less from Mom).

Ok, we've moved to the chemo room now, but there's more to report...all of Mom's counts looked fine (white blood cells, platelets, et al) so chemo is a "go" today. Also, the Troll explained a bit more about the cancer in the bile duct...As my oh so loyal and oh so intelligent readers recall, biliary duct cancer can be hard to diagnose and with Mom, they never could tell what the primary cancer was (though it was either biliary or pancreatic). Well, the Troll saw no problems in the bile ducts no cancerous cells and no compression of the bile duct. Now, it is unusual for the cancer to be eradicated in the primary area before it is knocked out in the places where it's spread, but again, one must remember that Mom is not an ordinary patient. In fact, when the Troll first gave Mom her prognosis, she said "Cotton Troll, that just won't do!" Ok, Mom didn't really call her Cotton Troll (not to her face anyway), but she did express that sentiment (and as we all should remember especially in the holiday season, it's the thought that counts).

Mom and Troll also discussed the radiofrequency ablation (RFA). Cotton reminded Mom that it's not standard to do RFA and that told her that there was no guarantee that it would eradicate things or even change things. However, Troll recommended it, Mom seconded it and the motion was carried. It looks like we're shooting for a January date for the RFA....as soon as YFC learns more, it will be reported exclusively in The Chemo Chronicle.

Random notes...we celebrated Chanukkah (The Festival of Lights....what a great name for a holiday) at Uncle Aaron's house on Saturday. We had the most traditional of Jewish dinners -- Chinese Food (this brings to mind the ancient riddle: Jewish civilization is 6,000 years old, Chinese civilization is 5,000 years old. So the question is, what did the Jews eat for the first 1,000 years?...sure it's old, but it's also a classic). ...Also, Mom is having a rendez-vous with her friend Gloria post-chemo...high tea at The Drake. How frou-frou! YFC is a much more simple kind of guy, he likes his tea iced, with a slice of lime...the way G-d intended it to be served. ...Finally, Cousinie Scott (a man very deserving of the "ie" designation) will be making a special guest appearance at chemo next week as part of the Chemo Buddy program. If you would like to be a Chemo Buddy, e-mail Mom today. Don't delay or the best slots will be gone before you know it.

Finally, are you looking for a unique holiday gift to give to that person who has everything? Give the gift of inspiration by sending them a subscription to The Chemo Chronicle. Where else can you find a gift that costs so little, but means so much?

It's always a labor of love to write The Chronicles but YFC must confess that it's infinitely more fun when there is good news to report. So a good day to you, my loyal readers. I wish you good tidings and cheer to you and your kin...

Faithfully,
Corey

On Pins and Needles

Greetings Loyal Readers,

YFC is blogging to you live from Mom's examination room. We're waiting for the Cotton Troll to come in to discuss the results of the latest CT scan. Needless to say Me and Mum are...well on pins and needles. So expect a grrrrreat news post soon...but until you receive the update, think good thoughts about Mom, k?

More soon...

Faithfully,
Corey

The Best Chemo Chronicle to Date

Greetings Loyal Readers,

Your Faithful Correspondent is going to dispense with the usual chit-chat and get directly to the point...Mom just received a call from the nurse @ her oncologist's office. Now, Nurse Larry Bomke would be special no matter what because of his unbelievably brilliant anagram (Nurse Larry Bomke = Yarmulkes Reborn...how cool is that?!?), but more importantly, he gave Mon GREAT news. Actually, that's an understatement, it was more like Tony the Tiger Grrrrrrrrreat news! Are you sitting? If you're not, you really do need to sit down (YFC likes to joke sometimes, but not now...you really need to be planted firmly on your tuchas):

The cancer in Mom's liver has continued to shrink. It was 4.5cm x 3.8cm and it's now 3.8cm x 2.9 cm. Now, the math gets a little tricky, but that means the tumors have shrunk by another 36%. DO NOT STAND UP YET! It keeps getting better...the mass on her pancreas...they can't find it! It positively boggles the mind (and my loyal readers know that YFC is not one who is easily boggled). Mom is seeing the Cotton Troll on Tuesday so hopefully we'll get a better sense of what this all means, but one this is clear...THIS IS GREAT NEWS!!!

Mom, YFC, and even my normally ungrateful little sis' would like to thank each and every one of you who has kept Mom in your thoughts and prayers lo these many months. We have no doubt that her continued improvement was aided by the many people who have been praying for her health. Not only that, but your (and just to be clear when YFC say "your", he's referring directly to y-o-u) emotional support has been an invaluable assistance to our entire family. From the bottom of our collective hearts, thank you, thank you, thank you for everything.

Most importantly, we are seeing the positive results of all of your prayers, e-mails, cards, etc. So don't let up! Keep Mom in your heads and in your hearts and together we will defy the annals of medicine. Pfft...doctors, what do they know anyway?

Writing the Chemo Chronicle hasn't always been so easy, but it's days like this that I really adore being Your Faithful Correspondent. A special thanks for being such loyal readers.

Please look away...I'd hate for your to see YFC tearing up.

Faithfully,
Corey

P.S.

This just in...Your Faithful Correspondent was able to use his contacts at the TSA to secure file footage of Melvin when she heard the good news (see below)...

No Word Yet

Greetings Loyal Readers,

No word yet from the Troll (but then again, you probably figured that out fromn the title of this post...you clever little devils). This is where Mom and Your Faithful Correspondent differ a bit. Mom is all, "well if the Troll had heard anything she'd have called me" whereas YFC is all "we should meet the Troll under the bridge where she lives and demand an answer."

When you're going throuugh chemo, you pretty much hold the trump card or, in Mom's case, the Get Out of Jail Free Card. Needless to say that Your Faithful Correspondent was overruled in how to approach this matter. However, if we don't hear by tomorrow, all bets are off...

YFC will leave you with Mom's words of wisdom..."think shrink" (my Sis would have you think mink, but then again she's the materialistic one, whereas YFC is the more modest child). So if you would, please send Mom good mojo, wishes, vibes, thoughts, prayers and remember to think shrink.

A Happy Chanukkah to all...

Faithfully Thinking Shrink,
Corey

Today's Update is...There is No Update (Sort Of)

Greetings Loyal Readers,

The title to today's post says it all and yet it also says nothing. Do not be alarmed dear FoMmies, Your Faithful Correspondent shall elucidate you into all the goings on in the alternate reality most commonly known as the chemo world...

Well, let's do something different and begin at the beginning for a change...as y'all know (I love the word y'all...I had a friend, an Illinoisian who was transplanted to Dallas who used to say it, so quintessentially Texan...I also love the word quintessentially for that matter...and while I think of it I like but not love the word quince, but am somewhat indifferent to the fruit, though speaking of fruit, I did have some marvelous pomegranate the other day...I was able to buy just the seeds at Trader Joe's and they were simply sublime...ahh, sublime...there's another word I love...)...

Erm, you can ignore that last paragraph...for a change YFC has lost the plot. Let me start again. So anyway, Mom had her CT scan yesterday. She went to a different place than she has been going (instead of going to hospital, yesterday's appointment was in the same building where she gets chemo) and everything went smooth as silk (the fabric, not the soy milk). In fact it went even better than Silk (the soy milk, not the fabric...if you were paying attention you'd notice that the "S" was capitalized), because Mom had to drink less barium (1 2/3 bottles instead of nearly 3) and the whole process was more efficient so she was in and out in no time. Because my Loyal Readers like the inside scoop, allow YFC to let you in on a little secret...Mom was given the choice of berry or banana and she chose berry! How deliciously decadent!

As of yet, Mom has not heard of anything from Cotton Troll. We think/hope that she'll get a jingle tomorrow and as soon as Your Faithful Correspondent knows more, you'll read about it first in [cue bugles] The Chemo Chronicle.

You may now go back to your regularly scheduled program.

Faithfully,
Corey

Part II

Greetings Loyal Readers,

The FoMmie Nation must be commended as your goood thoughts and prayers have paid off. As you know, Mom's had some struggles when it comes to chemo treatment #3 (the last session of her cycle) but she was able to go today. Platelets were a little low (93, if you really must know, you nosy little monkeys), but Mom said "Let there be chemo!" Then there was chemo. And it was good.

Pardon that brief interruption (not that you noticed) Mom decided to inspect today's first installment and she was quick to point out YFC's typographical errors. Apologies to all whom I've offended by my ineptitude, it shan't happen again.

Getting back to chemo, next week is an off-week for Mom. But just because it's an off-week doesn't mean that she won't be busy, busy, busy. Mom goes in for a CT scan next week, that will allow another Cotton Troll to see how the chemo is working (now that's peculiar...Cotton Troll's initials are CT and she ordered a CT scan. Methinks something is rotten in the State of Denmark). We've had good news so far, so set your phasers to stun, light your candles, break out your mala beads, and daven like you've never davened before -- Mom's being scanned December 3rd at 2:45 pm so keep her in your thoughts, won't you?

Well, chemo has just ended and we're fixin' for a meal. Thus this posting must come to an end, typos and all.

A blogtastic Tuesday to you all.

Faithfully,
Corey

A Pre-Chemo Posting

Greetings Loyal Readers,

Today, you're getting a brief pre-chemo post, which will (eventually) be followed by a chemo recap. Now I'm sure you are squirming in your respective seats with anticipation. After all, with the promise of goodies galore this is a bit like Halloween isn't it? Well, with the lone exception of Halloween candy, nothing in life if free, but more on that later. Instead, let's move on to another holiday...

As you probably guessed (not just probably, of course you did...my loyal readers are oh so smart), YFC is going to give you a brief recap of Thanksgiving. Well, it's a traditional North American holiday to celebrate the harvest. It is observed on the 4th Thursday of November in the U.S., whereas our Canadian friends celebrate on the 2nd Monday in October (ahh Canadians....they're kind of like our non-threatening, distant relatives to the North. You scarcely think about or see them, except for maybe once a year. They don't really have great toys, but they play nice and will always share with you. And when they leave you think to yourself "hey that wasn't so bad we should see them more often" and then promptly forget them and play with your new model train).

Anyhow, I suppose that FoMmie Nation knows all about the origins of Thanksgiving. You wanted to know about Mom's Thanksgiving didn't you? Of course you did. Anyhow, we celebrated at Chez Berba (better known as Aunt Roberta's house) with the family. All the usual suspects were there:

• Mom, YFC & Melvin the Sis
• Berba, UM (Uncle Marc for the uninitiated)
• Bubby (grandmother)
• Uncle Aaron, Haley (cousin, possible Canadian), Lizzy (Uncle's paramour)
• Cousin Tobi and Daughter Jill (to be clear, that'd be Cosuin Tobi's daughter, not YFC's)
• Isabelle and Addie (friends)

Mom's contribution to the Thanksgiving meal was a delicious chopped salad (the delicious quotient was increased markedly by Mom's inclusion of diced dates...such an epicurean that Mom o' mine). The salad was large enough that it could have sustained the French army through a Russian winter; however, with the appetites in our family, it scarcely lasted us a full 5 minutes.

YFC made a chestnut mushroom soup. If you're interested, the recipe is here (though I confess I'm embarrassed to send you to blog deux because it has been sorely neglected. It's somewhat akin to inviting one into a messy house, and if you've been to YFC's casa lately, you'd understand the analogy).

There's so much more to tell, but my loyal readers will have to wait for the follow-up post. But remember that reference to nothing being free (except for Halloween candy, but we've covered that ground already)? Well, Mom is having her appointment with Cotton Troll at 12:30 p.m. today (of course Doc Cotton tends to run on TST -- Troll Standard Time, which is about 25 minutes behind). YFC requests that FoMmie Nation send Mom some positive thoughts/prayers at half past noon. Sure it's a bit of a quid pro quo, but when you compare the cost of YFC's updates with that of a gingerbread latte from Starbucks, it's really a hellluva deal.

More soon kiddies...

Faithfully,
Corey

Tuesday's Menu = Chemo, Thursday's Menu = Turkey

Greetings Loyal Readers,

Another live update from the site of Mom's chemo. Do you realize how lucky you are? I mean really, do you? Or to phrase it another way, do you know of anyone else who gets live chemotherapy updates? Of course not. You, dear readers, are enjoying unfettered access in ways that others can only dream about. But have you ever asked yourself why? Have you ever thought, "why oh why is YFC so good to me, why am I so blessed to be enlighted by Him?" Well my loyal flock, the reason is really quite simple, it's because YFC loves you. Actually love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do?

Well, the sentiment is genuine and yet it might look strangely familiar. For 8 FoMmie points, name the movie from which "luuurve, loave, luff" quote came from. For an additional 2 points (to make it an even 10, dontcha know), what was the name of the character who uttered the line.

Ok, so much for fun and games, loyal readers, it's time to get back to serious business...chemo business. Well, the Mom's numbers are in...her white blood cells registered 3.7 (range 3.5 - 10) so hi-ho, chemo is a go. The saline is a dripping away and soon, the gemzar will kick-in. Chemo has very much become a routine. It's no longer as scary as it seemed in the beginning, now it's just "if today is Tuesday, it must be a chemo day" (unless of course it's an off-week). Mom has really adapted well. She's come a long way from the early days when she didn't want her port. Now it's all pish-posh, bring on the next challenge...

In non-chemo related news, la familia attended Ethan's Bar Mitzvah on Saturday (Ethan = son of Nanci and Frank Leigner, grandson of Uncle Phil). The event had been the talk of the North Shore for months and it managed to live up to all the pre-event hype. It was quite the bash...all the cool 13 year olds were there. The party was a nice eSkape for Mom, she even bowled a 72 (or thereabouts)...not bad for a woman with a titanium hip!

And speaking of hip...cousin Nanci looked impossibly young as the mother of the Bar Mitzvah boy. She also said the sweetest thing to Your Faithful Correspondent...no, it had nothing to do with blogging, etc. Instead, she said those 3 little words that I've been longing to hear for oh so long "we'll adopt you." Now, to be clear, YFC loves his Mommy, but sometimes the extended family is a little wacky. The details of the transaction have yet to be finalized, essentially we're just going to rearrange some of the branches of the family tree (and perhaps prune a couple altogether) so that we can create a lovely topiary.

Well, Mom is just about to finish up here. The next update will undoubtedly cover Turkey Day festivities, including YFC's award-winning recipe for chestnut soup. Happy Thanksgiving to all....

Faithfully,
Corey

P.S.
The complete chemo quiz quote (chemo quiz quote, try saying that 3 times fast) "Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do? " was said by the incomparable Woody Allen in the role of Alvy Singer in Annie Hall.

A New and Improved Regimine

Greetings Loyal Readers,

Today's blog is brought to you by Chemo Buddy, the most trusted name in chemotherapy. We'll hear more about that later, but for now we are back in the Windy City (and of course, I'm sure my loyal readers realize that Chicago's nickname was not inspired by weather patterns at all) and today was a family day at chemo. Now does family day mean:

a) Kids get chemo for half-price when accompanied by a full-fare adult;
b) Mum and YFC skipped chemo and headed straight for the local petting zoo; or
c) Melvin the Wonder Sis made it to today's session?

Well if you guessed (c) then you are correct (and jolly good for you if you did!). Now where were we? Yes, Family Day at chemo...well, Mom saw Troll Named Cotton for an a thorough once-over. The Doc said that Mom was still doing well and that she is a candidate for the radiofrequency ablation (RFA), but they'd probably only do the RFA to the liver tumor. The cancer needs to shrink a bit more before Mom can have the treatment -- Doc Cotton would like to see the diameter of the tumor to be < 2cm and Mom was last at 4cm. But YFC has faith that Mom can shrink that nasty tumor in no time.

Mom was also placed on a new and improved regimine (hence, the title of today's posting)...Mom is still on a 28-day cycle, but Troll-face is reducing the amount of the drugs that Mom takes in the hopes that she won't have to skip treatment due to low platelet counts. Nothing that extreme mind you, Mom went from 1800 cc's of Gemzar to 1488 cc's (now, who comes up with these calculations anyway? A drop of 312? What kind of number is that? Well, yes I know that it's the area code for Chicago...duh!...but really, there simply must be a better method for determining proper dosing).

The chemo itself (all 1488 cc's of it) went just fine. Actually, it was a treat to accompany Mom...a trick-or-treat. Ha ha ha, YFC just made a funny. Of course, it would have been much funnier had this post been about an October 31 visit. So sorry to have put you through that, gentle reader. However, the confusion was no doubt caused by the array of Halloween goodies that were available for sample at the chemo sweet table. What's that you say? You don't know of the chemo sweet table? Well, let me enlighten you, dear reader. As you surely realize, chemo can be quite an ordeal (unless, like Mom, you are accopanied by your own personal blogespondent). So fellow patients will often bring in snacks to make the day a bit more tasty. Now I'm not going to name any names (so instead, I'll just call out people by family relation) but I did notice a certain nameless Sister of mine helping herself to a Nutter Butter snack pack (and I'm pretty sure she went for seconds too!).

If you'd like to help yourself to some chemo-rific yummies, feel free to ask Mom about accompanying her to chemo. Yes, that's right, you too can be a Chemo Buddy. Also available are Chemo Buddy gift certificates. They're sure to delight anyone on your gift list this holiday season. Sessions are filling up quickly, so please, don't delay, reserve your Chemo Buddy slot today.

(note: this offer not good in Alaska and Hawaii)

Well, dear readers, sadly we must depart. But before we part ways, Mom is phoning in...(this is completely unplanned by the way...call it serendipity if for no other reason that it's simply a marvelous word to say):

YFC: Mom, your loyal fans would love to hear from you. What would you like to tell them?
Mom: I would like to tell them that it was fun to be in Florida and that I was really grateful that I had a place to go when I had to leave Maria's. So I want to thank Ivan and Sue. I had visits with Jim and Michael and Jeffrey and David that were highlights of my trip. And I also had a delightful time with Margot and Maria. And I was very happy to see Judy and Manny. And to my girlfriends...I'll never forget the Marvin story.

Your Faithful Correspondent has no idea about this so-called "Marvin Story"...sounds kinda fishy...but when the details leak out (and they always do), you'll read about it here, first. YFC also feels compelled to point out that when he encountered Margot, Maria, and Unclie Manny and Auntie Judy, all of them were kind enough to remind him about the tempertantrums that he used to throw when he was but a wee lad.

Clearly these tales of tempertantrums are utter blasphemy. Not entirely sure, but methinks that Marvin is to blame.

A very pleasant week to all (but not to Marvin)...

Faithfully,
Corey

We Made It!

Greeting Loyal Readers,

Well, the good news is that la familia made it to Sunny Florida (YFC longs for the days when Florida was abbreviated Fla. rather than FL. Can't explain why it should make a difference, but it was always 75 degrees and sunny before the change). Actually, Mom started feeling better by Thursday, so we waited a couple days (just to be safe) and we finally departed from ORD early Sunday morning.

Mom has spent most of her time with longtime friends Maria "Who's afraid of the big bad" Wolf and Margot "I didn't ask for Diet Coke, I wanted" Tabb (we were still living in Florida at the height of Tabmania. YFC will never forget the horror etched on the faces of South Floridians when they learned that Coca-Cola would stop producing their little pink cans of calorie-free caffeinated goodness). Last night everyone went and we saw the Garcias -- Uncle Manny and Auntie Judy. Why is it that some aunts get an "ie" added to their names and some do not? Your Faithful Correspondent can only speculate that it's a term of endearment. Nice = Auntie. Not as nice = Aunt. Still, why don't we have any Unclies? Men can be endearing too, after all. Come to think of it, Uncle Manny would be an endearing sort. Accordingly, the Garcias shall henceforth be known as Auntie Judy and Unclie Manny.

Now where were we? Ah yes, my Auntie and Unclie (thanks for pointing me out in the right direction loyal readeries). We we saw them at the Little Italian Tavern, that despite it's name was not really all that small (although it truly was Italian). Hey reader, are you looking for a restaurant review or do you want to know about the visit? Well Mom hadn't seen UM and AJ in probably...oh...20+ years? But they were able to pick-up right where they left off and, accordingly, Auntie Judy and Mom spent the better part of the evening lamenting the demise of Tab cola.

What else would my loyal readers like to know? Well, every newsflash from South Florida should contain a weather update. YFC is pleased to report that the weather has been vacillating between fantastic and fan-freaking-tastic (warm but not hot days and cooler nights). Also, due to circumstances that are too boring for Your Faithful Correspondent to transmit, Mom is now staying with Melvin and YFC and Chez Dad. Your Faithful Correspondent was a bit concerned that things would be awkward, but we've spent the last couple breakfasts cataloguing the reasons why YFC turned out to be good incarnate, while my Little Sis trails far behind in the favourite derby (note: the extra "u" was a special nod to loyal readers checking in from the U.K. and Canada).

Loyal readers, sun and fun awaits. Early wishes for a beautiful weekend to all.

Faithfully,
Corey

Vacay Delay

Greetings Loyal Readers,

You might be asking yourself, why is The Faithful Correspondent blogging from Florida? Does he have nothing better to do? Well, the answer to the latter question is a resounding "no," but more importantly, we didn't make it to Florida. No need to scratch your hear Dear Reader, for YFC shall reveal all...

Mom, Melvin, and YFC were heading to South Florida for a lil' R&R. We were scheduled to leave Wedesday, but Mom had a tummy ache. We were worried because for a while there, Mom did not seem to be doing very well. But whatever was in her system left yesterday (Loyal Readers, we've established a fair amount of trust, no? Have some faith when I tell you that you don't want YFC to divulge too much in the way of detail) and today Mom seemed perfectly fine. It's fair to say we were a bit worried, but YFC can attest that Mom was in rare form tonight.

So the plan is for Mom to depart early Saturday morning. Melvin and YFC will be accompanying her on this journey, though we'll all go our separate ways once we arrive (after all, one can only spend so much time with a little sister, especially one who nicked your LifeSavers). As the news develops, stay tuned to this space to find out all the latest information.

Faithfully,
Corey

A Step Back

Greetings Loyal Readers,

There are some days when it's not all that much fun to be Your Faithful Correspondent. Mom couldn't take chemo yesterday because her platelets were low. So, assuming all goes according to plan, she'll resume chemo two weeks from yesterday. There's a possibility that she'll need a transfusion of platelets, but it's a bit early to know whether that will be necessary.

After yesterday's disappointment, Mom was mollified somewhat by a lovely dinner with her neighbor Mark Garber. Your Faithful Correspondent was invited to witness the scene at the Standard Club, where yesterday's dining took place. It was a very refined experience: attentive service, good food, very good wine (2004 Baron Philippe de Rothschild Merlot, very smooth and drinkable), and excellent company. To avoid the paparazzi, we exited via a side entrance. Of course, once we realized that we parked the car out front, it became abundantly clear that our ruse was not going to be successful.

Mom will be jetting off to the sunny environs of South Florida later today. She will spend time with Maria, Margot and perhaps even a wee bit of time with Dad and Sue. Your Faithful Correspondent will also be on the scene (as will Melvin, though it hardly seems like it's worth a mention), so My Faithful Readers may want to be on the lookout for remote updates.

Sadly, YFC must cut this a bit short. Packing calls.

Faithfully,
Corey

Mom's Night at "The Living Room"

Greetings Loyal Readers!

A quick report on the exploits of our favorite heroine (whether she be Chemo Queen or Warrior Woman, just make sure to answer the new poll question)...Saturday evening Mom was invited to The Living Room, Uncle Phil's oh-so-exclusive club where only the who's who of the what's what are invited to gather. It was a particularly exciting for Your Faithful Corrspondent, since Sis and I have not been invited to these events on previous occasions (undoubtedly, YFC was being penalized for his sibling's misdeeds). Actually, when Sis and I entered The Living Room we brought the average age of the house down to approximately 98.6 -- good for temperatures, not so good for a Saturday evening assemblage. Nonetheless, after making sure that Michelle promised to be on her best behavior, we joined the cognoscenti for what was billed as:

An Unforgettable Evening
The Living Room Takes Pride in Presenting
Shecky Greene - Just Extraordinary
Ryan Oakes - Conjuror - Mystifying

YFC was particularly fond of the former Mr. Sheldon Greenfield, a man who's jokes seemed frozen in time. Of course that time roughly coincided with the lifespan of the Mercury Dime. From the food to the talent to the fact that YFC was made part of the act (not by choice, mind you), it was an excellent evening. Needless to say, though say it I will, Mom was looking radiant, as always.

So what does this have to do with the price of tea in China? Gentle reader, did we not previously discuss that patience is a virtue? Well, without further ado, I bring you a short photographic essay of an evening at [dramatic pause] The Living Room...

[The rest of this post has been censored by the good people at Pravda. Something about offending delicate sensibilities. Though Your Faithful Correspondent tried to protest (for YFC is tireless in his efforts to bring you the the truth), the threat of the gulag quieted further dissention]

Sadly, on this alarming note, we must end this edition of The Chemo Chronicle. Tomorrow is a chemo day, so I am sure that there will be more soon.

Faithfully,
Corey

P.S.

For my loyal readers who e-mailed me to say that Pravda is the truth (Pravda -- Russian: Правда, "The Truth"), please check your snail mail. A FoMmie t-shirt is coming your way.

Poll: We Have Winner!

The poll question asked "Who is Mom's Favorite Child?" and now the results are in!

Corey was the most popular response with 44% of the vote.
Both Corey and Not Michelle garned 33%.
And finally, Not Michelle earned 22% support.

Thanks to everyone who voted and look for a new poll question soon!

Update: The new poll question is up. Since one of the options is "other", please leave any other possible nickname suggestions as feedback to this posting. Finally, in true Chicago tradition, please remember to vote early and often.

Look of The Chemo Chronicle and Comments

Loyal Readers,

Your Faithful Corrspondent is experimenting with the look and feel of The Chemo Chronicle (or as my French-speaking readers know it Le Chronicle Chemo). Please feel free to post feedback.

And speaking of feedback...YFC has tweaked the comments section so it's easier to leave comments now (you no longer have to be a registered reader...err...user).

Muchas gracias (this is a special nod to my Spanish-speaking readers...it means much gracias)

A Joint Update

Greetings Loyal Readers!

Your Faithful Correspondent is coming to you live again, with more up to the minute coverage. Now, I know how perceptive my readers are, so hopefully the title didn't throw you off. No, you're not going to hear the latest on Mom's knees, elbows, ankles, etc. No, the joint part of the update means that YFC is going to have a special message from Mum today. So without further ado let's turn immediately to Mom:

I wanted to thank my friends and family (FoMmies) for all the love and prayers and blessings that they continue to send me. And thanks to everyone who sent me birthday wishes, I'm counting on a repeat for many years to come. I had wonderful celebrations.

Your Faithful Correspondent was able to snag an invite to several of the approximately 682 birthday celebrations and they were truly sublime. Her house was transformed into an enormous floral boutique for her birthday ( if you're reading this and you sent flowers, please note that your arrangement was Mom's very favorite).

So, in other news, Mom has her chemo drip, drip, dripping along. Mom's white counts were a smidge low -- not low enough to stop her from having her treatment today, obviously -- but she'll be coming back for a shot on Friday. The shot will boost her white counts and will allow Mom to return for treatment next week.

Note: at this point in our update Mom had Your Faithful Correspondent doing manual labor (oh the humanity!) -- nothing too taxing mind you, just pulling her "curtains" shut, which gives off the feeling of having chemo in a tent. Thankfully, the only injury to report was YFC's bruised ego.

Well, we are coming near the end of our update. If you're getting this by e-mail, check the blog later today or tomorrow for a photographic update! (if you're reading this the pics are up now...but you knew that already)

Good tidings to all...

Faithfully,
Corey

A Chemo Chronicle Live Update

Greetings Loyal Readers,

Yes, a live update from the site where Mom is getting her chemo as we speak! As much as I'd love to give you updates on cooking, the all-important poll question on the new blog, or just blogging in general, I must instead bring you this special live bulletin...

...MOM JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER!!!...

So excited, so happy, I just want to dance and sing, la la la. Terribly sorry, you shouldn't have to see Your Faithful Correspondent lose his composure like that (YFC = Young, Fabulous & Composed) but this is good news dear readers. Very good news. Here are the details...

Overall the tumor in Mom's liver has decreased by approximately 60%. It started at approximately 30cm2 and is now approximately 12cm2. The tumor in Mom's pancreas has shrunk by approximately 50%. Doctor Troll's exact words were “I'm surprised by how much it shrunk.” The Troll made a minor change to Mom’s chemo regimine…Mom will temporarily be off of the Cisplatin because she’s worried about toxicity build-up. Now before anyone panics (my readers are loyal, but you’re also a panicky lot) let me assure you that nothing is wrong. Sometimes too much Cisplatin can cause a loss of balance and Doc Troll wants to avoid that, seeing how it’s irreversible and all. Mom may go back on Cisplatin in the future (probably for no more than 2 additional doses); as soon as YFC learns more my loyal readers will get the skinny.

Speaking of skinny [insert joke about sister here]

Doubtless my loyal readers are wondering, well what about that radiofrequency ablation (by the by, doesn’t that just feel so good rolling off your tongue?) that you told us about? Patience, dear readers, patience (it’s a virtue, you know). Well, assuming that we see a bit more progress, Mom could be a candidate for RFA (you did figure out that RFA = radiofrequency ablation, right? Of course you did) in December.

Well, Mom’s going through chemo now, so Your Faithful Correspondent must attend to his duties. A very happy Tuesday to all!

Faithfully,
Corey

P.S.
In case you missed it, the Chemo Chronicle is now available online at http://chemochronicle.blogspot.com/

P.P.S.
Since you're reading this online, you can pretty much disregard the p.s.

Birthday Fun

Greetings Loyal Readers,

Tonight we celebrated Mom's birthday with the family. If my count is correct (and why wouldn't it be?) this would be Mom's 4th bash in 7 days. Mom has 1 more shindig to go, as she celebrates tomorrow with Mary and Carol, dear friends from the building.

Your Faithful Correspondent is, well faithful yes, but that's not where YFC was going was this. Hmm...perhaps it's easier to say what YFC is not. A brilliant photographer. This is mentioned because today's update is not intended to be so much a textual update, but rather a visual one.

To the left is a picture of Mom on her 65th. As always, Mom was looking quite radiant. Standing behind her (and looking quite radiant herself) is the incomparable Bubby. It was quite a nice little affair and aside from YFC suffering from a mild case of heartburn, no injuries were reported.

The Chemo Chronicles

Greetings Loyal Readers,

Thanks to all of you who wrote me this past week. My spidey sense was tingling...methinks that Mom may have had something to do with the onslaught of mail that I received. I sincerely appreciate your words of support. To be clear, Mom should be the focus of your love and admiration for I am but Your Faithful Correspondent, a humble scribe who lives to serve and serves to live...

Now that we've straightened that out, on with the news...as you know, this is Mom's off-week but it's also a big week. Thursday is Mom's birthday and Friday is Mom's CT Scan. It's a lot to digest, so why don't we just take these one at a time?

Well, birthday week has already started. It kicked off last Saturday when Mom's neighbor Mark (who shamelessly begged to mentioned in the Chronicle -- hey Mark, how do you like your mention now?) took Mom to Greektown for an early celebration on Saturday. Thursday, we're likely heading to Roy's with Russell (hmm...Roy's with Russell...try saying that 3 times fast) for a little Hawaiian fusion cuisine. Saturday we'll be doing the family thing at Francesca's on Taylor. And on Sunday, Mom's neighbors Mary and Carol will be making Mom a party. 4 parties over 8 days = 1 busy Mom!

The CT scan is this Friday the 12th. YFC requests that you say an extra-special prayer for Mom on Friday. Last time Mom had this test, the results showed that her tumors had shrunk by nearly 40%. We are hoping for similar results -- or better -- this time around too.

Sadly, the news comes to an end here. Your Faithful Correspondent has a bit of a cold, so he is going to drink some more tea (peppermint if you're interested) and then it's off to bed. I look forward to bringing you good results next week.

Faithfully,
Corey

P.S.
If any of you have any questions for YFC, feel free to drop me a line and you may see your query in a future edition of the Chronicle.

The Chemo Chronicles

Greetings and salutations to all. Today Mom experienced another bump on the road to recovery. Mom was unable to have her treatment today because her white blood cell and platelet counts were low.

Cancer is a bully.

Of course the only way to deal with a bully is to stand-up to him and Mom shall continue to fight. We saw Cotton Troll (if you've been paying attention, you know by now that's Mom's doctor) today and she reported that Mom was still doing pretty well. Mom received a shot to boost her white blood cells and chemotherapy will resume in two weeks (October 16th).

(Incidentally, Mom told ol' Troll that YFC was writing these updates and that there was an anagram of her name...thank goodness she didn't ask what it was)

On Friday, October 12th -- that'd be the day after Mom officially becomes a senior citizen (shh...don't tell her I told you that) -- Mom goes in for a CT scan. As you recall, Mom did very well 2 months ago when she first had this test. The results showed that the tumor in Mom's liver shrunk by approximately 40% and there was progress in the other areas too. So we're hoping/praying for a similar outcome, if not better.

So what next? Well, you sure are a curious lot aren't you? Mom will have a maximum of 2 more cycles with the Cisplatin. Since Mom has now had 2 cycles in a row where she couldn't go for treatment on the 3rd week, it looks like Mom will go to a 21-day cycle. In other words:

Day 1: Cisplatin. Gemzar
Day 8: Gemzar
Day 15: Off week

Day 22 would be the first day of the new cycle.

If all goes according to plan -- and it will, Mom even has an energy healer working on her recovery (early reports are very positive) -- Mom may be a candidate for Radiofrequency Ablation. Now of course you're probably saying to yourself "radiofrequency ablation, what's that?". Well, dear reader, I'm oh so glad you asked! In a nutshell, it's a minimally invasive procedure where a needle is inserted into the tumor. Electrical energy is is delivered through the needle, which then heats and destroys the tumor. If your unquenchable thirst for knowledge has not been sated, try drinking this in: http://www.mayoclinic.org/ radiofrequency-ablation/

Anyhow, since I let the cat out of the bag on the big Six-Five (just to be clear, I'm referring to Mom's upcoming birthday now, not my darling sister's IQ) here's the skinny...rumor has it that there will be multiple events planned to celebrate the historic occasion. Our beloved Uncle Rusty ( umm, that's be Russell to most folks) is planning a bash at a not-yet-decided restaurant. Now Your Faithful Correspondent doesn't like to dabble in idle speculation (rumor and innuendo, yes; idle speculation, no) but a little birdie told me that the choices might well come down to Gibson's ( http://www.gibsonssteakhouse.com/) or RL (http://rlrestaurant.polo.com/). A soirée with la familia is also in the planning stages (note: YFC offered to host a shindig at chez moi, but was rebuffed in a most brusque and gratuitous manner). Your Faithful Correspondent is not one to take a gratuitous rebuffing lying down, so I have alerted my contacts in Tokyo, Singapore, Seoul and Pyongyang ( hmm...notice a pattern here?)...and they will be coordinating festivities to commence concurrently with our celebrations here in the Windy City. Now I don't mean to quibble but YFC is trying to plan multiple affairs in cities across the globe...is there anyway that someone charge can make decisions about the Chicago galas anytime soon?

This just in...got a text message (YFC hates text messaging...more on that in a future Chronicle). Apparently London, New York and, yes, Paris (France, not Hilton) will also host simultaneous parties.

Just got an update from the Guest of Honor...looks like the bash w/ UR (Uncle Rusty) will be on Thursday, October 11th (the actual day of Mum's birth) and the family bash will be held on Friday @ Francesca's on Taylor.

Well, things are flying fast and furious around here, another text received...Paris (Hilton, not Texas) will also host an event in Mom's honor. She's proposing a masquerade ball... tres swanky!

Another edition of the Chronicle is coming to an end. Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow (for extra credit: name the play from which this line is taken).

Sweet dreams.

Faithfully,
Corey

P.S.
Anagrams for Faithfully Corey: Your Iffy Hellcat and Erotically Huffy (Your Faithful Correspondent is pre-emptively striking the use of the latter anagram...for goodness sakes, this is a family update!).

P.P.S.
The answer to our quiz: Romeo and Juliet. Act 2, Scene 2 ...but you knew that already.

P.P.P.S.
Took a trip to Berba's house on Sunday and prepared dinner for Mom, Melvin (the Sis), Bubby (the G-Mom) and Berba (the Aunt). New motto for Your Iffy Hellcat: have meat, will travel. On the evening's menu: Simple Salad (hearts of palm, avocado, tomatoes, cucumber, and romaine topped with a homemade Dijon vinaigrette), sauteed garlic spinach, spelt and bell peppers (surprisingly good and high in fiber...spelt has an appearance and texture similar to Israeli couscous and a slight nutty taste) and the main course was a crusted rack of lamb.

P.P.P.P.S.
I just received a fax and a singing telegram from Moscow and Reykjavik, respectively....they'll also be celebrating in solidarity on the 11th.

P.P.P.P.P.S.
And finally I leave you with a quote from the well-known American/Scottish writer and suffragist Florida Scott-Macwell: No matter how old a mother is she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.

Note to Michelle: I'm pretty sure she was talking about you.

The Chemo Chronicles: Special Late Night Edition

Greetings Loyal Readers,

A special final call edition of the Chemo Chronicles today. As always there are spills and chills galore, but why don't we just jump right into the action and you can see for yourself?

This past week was a bit of a rough week for Mom. As you know, chemo tends to build-up in the system and unfortunately, Mom experienced a good deal of nauseousness this past week. Mom takes a medication called Emend for nauseousness Tuesday -Thursday. However, she can only take that medication 3 days a week. Mom has 2 other drugs that help with the nausea, Zofran and Decadron but they are not as powerful as the Emend. It's pretty difficult to see Mom not feeling well. Still, she's a trooper and Mom rarely lets on that she's not at her best.

Well, as you know today is chemo day (and Chemo Chronicle day too, but you knew that already) and it was a one medicine (Gemzar) kind of day. We followed the usual ritual: pick a seat (preferably one where Mom can't see too many people that really look sick), get blood drawn and then wait for the results. Well I won't keep you...the results were good, Mom passed. So Mom had her chemo and it went very smoothly. We spent much of the time looking at a cookbook that I brought ( How to Cook Everything by Mark Bittman, highly recommended by YFC), but more on that later. The time flew by and we were in and out in about an hour and a half.

Post-chemo we picked-up Bubby and took her to a bridge game at the Drake (tres chic Bubby...Your Faithful Correspondent considers himself lucky when he gets invited to play checkers at the "Y") and then Me and Mum were off to lunch at the Niu Japanese Fusion Lounge. Yes, the name is a bit pretentious, but the food was good and after a quick trip to Walgreens, Mom was happy to settle in for a nice nap.

And speaking of food...YFC was lucky enough to host Mom and my little sis Melvin (err...Michelle...she'd hate it if I let everyone know that I call her Melvin, so let this be our little secret, k?) for dinner. We were lucky enough to be joined by a surprise guest, Russell. When I say it was a surprise guest, I don't just mean that it was a surprise for you. I mean it was a surprise to me, Mom and Melvin too. So I understand it (YFC always aims to be understanding...perhaps a new acronym is needed -- YSC: Your Sympathetic Correspondent. You're right, we'll continue to work on it) Russell offered to drive the girls here and decided to pay YFC a visit (he wanted to talk about publishing rights or some such nonsense). Well, luckily YFC's Momma taught him well. Her first rule of cooking: Serve stew if you must, but never scrimp on the salad. No wait...I think that was the rule of Bernstein's dressings. Mom's first rule of cooking: always make 50% more food than could be reasonably devoured by the invited guests. Anyhow, it was a lovely affair. Your Faithful Correspondent made braised short ribs (aggressively seasoned with fresh rosemary and fennel) with a side of butternut squash orzo. All in all good food, good company, quite a success!

Fair disclosure: my little sis was actually a big help wen it came to clean-up time. She's gotten a fair bit of stick in these e-mails (though not nearly as much as she deserves) and sometimes ya gotta give credit where credit is due...thanks Melv!

Anyhow, in a roundabout way, this takes us back to today's chemo session, where me and Mum were reading our cookbook. Your Faithful Correspondent has decided that for the forseeable future, every Sunday will be family dinner night at Chez YFC. YFC was thinking about prime rib for next Sunday's feast, but Mom seems to be leaning to rack of lamb. I suppose we all know who's likely to win that gastronomical battle (just to be clear, it's Mom...Mom is going to win).

And why will Mom win? Well, because she's got one of these:



Ah yes, the ol' Get out of Jail Free Card (and just to be clear, she really does have the card).

And that brings us to the close of our e-mail. But before sign-off Your Faithful Correspondent has an announcement of sorts. It's kind of scary (for yours truly) but I figure that by putting it out there YFC will be forced to have some level of accountability (for those of you doing the math at home -- that'd probably include the Dad -- accountability = scary). Here goes: for many years now, Mom has been telling YFC that he/I/me ought to write. Needless to say, Your Faithful Correspondent has pooh-poohed this idea in the past but the time has come to embrace change and YFC heed Mom's words. Just to be clear, the fact that Mom has threatened to beat YFC with a wire hanger had absolutely no bearing on the decision-making process.

[YFC feels compelled to clarify for the my loyal readers who move their lips when perusing these e-mails -- no not YOU, but it's 2 names from yours on the e-mail list...shhh -- YFC was not actually threatened with a wire hanger. Mom stopped threatening me with physical violence almost 3 1/2 weeks ago.]

[Yes, that last line was a joke too. It was only 2 weeks ago.]

[Yes, that last line, also a joke.]

[By the way, does anybody know what these nifty little things on the end of these sentences are called?]

Ok, that's all for now.

Faithfully,
Corey

The Chemo Chronicles: Special Live Update

Greetings Loyal Readers!

It's been far too long, hasn't it? Well, I have a special treat for you today. I'm coming to you LIVE from Mom's chemo treatment. Undoubtedly this will be an update filled with spills, chills and surprises galore. I can hardly wait to see what's in store! Come and join me and let's discover how the day unfolds together...

Well as always, we'll start at the beginning, or at least somewhere nearby...Mom was particularly busy last week. We celebrated Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) at her sister Roberta's (a/k/a Auntie Berba) house. Then on Friday, we sprung Bubby (Mom's mom) free from the nursing home/rehab facilty where she was incarcera...umm recuperating...from her broken clavicle. We were all delighted to have Bubby home again (at least until she started ordering me around. I started to drive Bubby back to the rehab facility, but Mom said that wasn't nice so I turned back around). Also, Mom received word that Stephen, one of her dear friends, was 99% recovered from stage 4 Non-Hogkins lymphoma. It was great news to hear and made Mom even more resolute (if that's possible) to beat this cancer.

And that brings us to today's events. Michelle and I joined Mom at her appointment with Doctor Ann Mellot (a/k/a Troll Named Cotton). Well, I'm not going to keep you in suspense...things went splendidly . All of Mom's numbers were good and she was able to have treatment today (don't fret, more on that in just a moment). The good news just kept coming. Ol' Cotton Troll told Mom that she was unlikely to lose her hair at this point. Now I know what you're thinking..."whew, what a relief." Bzzzz...wrong answer! If you had been paying attention to previous e-mails (and given that I craft each e-mail so lovingly, with only you my loyal reader in mind, you really ought to have the decency to read more carefully) you'd know that the correct response would have been to a) give thanks to the Big Guy Upstairs (possible anagrams include: Big Gay Pursuits, Busy Guitar Pigs, A Rugby Pigs Suit, Sir Tubas Pig Guy -- seems like an awful lot of pork there) and b) remind the Big Guy Upstairs (I'm certainly not going to start with name-calling...use anagrams at your own peril) that we'd still like to see a full and complete recovery.

And speaking of, the Big Guy Upstairs...this is the holiest time of the year for Jews. As I previously mentioned, we just celebrated Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. We will soon be celebrating Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), which begins at sundown Sepember 21 (Friday), and lasts until sundown September 22 (Saturday). Yom Kippur is the holiest day on the Jewish calendar. It is said that on Yom Kippur G-d seals the Book of Life is sealed and the fate of everyone will be finalized (i.e., who shall live and who shall die). I'd like to ask you to say a special get-well prayer for my mother on Yom Kippur. Even if you are not Jewish, I know that G-d will be most receptive. And let's be clear...our track record is pretty good so far. The last time I asked for a group prayer was right before Mom's CT scan (foreshadowing: Mom will have another CT scan in about 3 weeks...hint!) and her tumor shrunk by 40%, so maybe if we all pray extra hard, Mom can join Steven and be well on the road to remission.*

* - note that this is in no way to be confused with the 2002 film "Road to Perdition" starring Tom Hanks, Paul Newman and Jude Law. If you haven't seen the movie I won't spoil it for you, but suffice it to say that I saw it in the theatre and it was L-O-N-G and S-L-O-W. What made it even worse was that I saw it in a very crowded theatre and I was wedged in the middle of an unusally long row. The opening credits had scarecely begun when I had to...well, let's just say that I almost resorted to waterworks atduring the movie (and by that I don't mean I was about to cry).

Well so much for that brief digression. Mom wants to again thank everyone who contributed to the cancer walk...approximately $1,000 was raised. And you know what? With all this talk of praying and movies and money-raising, Your Faithful Correspondent almost lost sight of the real reason for these updates -- Mom (of course, I couldn't ever lose sight of her really). Luckily the beeping of the chemo machines jarred me back on course. Today was Mom's "heavy" day (2 medicines) and she came through it like a champ. We'll be leaving here in just a little bit.

(You're about to eavesdrop on a genuine post-chemo interaction -- literally right after Momwas unhooked from the chemo dispenser -- between Your Faithful Correspondent and the real star of this show...YFC is typing this in real-time!)
Corey: Mom, do you want to say anything to My Loyal Readers?
Mom: Huh? What baby?
Corey: Mom, do you want to say anything to My Loyal Readers?
Mom: Just sending my love and blessings and thanking them for their love and support.

Well, I suppose that pretty much says it all, really. I'll throw in a quick reminder to say a Yom Kippur prayer and I promise to have more for you soon.

Faithfully,Corey

A Bump In the Road

Loyal Readers,

I'm afraid that today's news wasn't great. Nothing tragic mind you (no need to go running for the window ledge), but all the same, I think we'll have to save anagrams and details about FoMmie merchandise for another day.

Today Mom went in for her usual Tuesday chemo appointment. As you know, for each cycle of treatment, Mom has the following schedule:
1st Tuesday: Gemzar, Cisplatin (in case you weren't paying attention, these are chemo drugs)
2nd Tuesday: Gemzar
3rd Tuesday: Gemzar
4th Tuesday: Off

Today was scheduled to the the 3rd Tuesday of her 3rd cycle. As usual, Mom had her blood drawn prior to the chemotherapy. The purpose of this is to check Mom's levels of hemoglobin, platelets and white blood cells prior to the chemo. In theory, if any of these counts were to drop below a certain level, Mom would not be able to go through with her scheduled chemotherapy appointment. Unfortunately, today was one of those days when theory and reality met head-on. Mom's white blood count levels were low and, as a result, she could not continue have treatment today.

What does this mean (even in moments of crisis my loyal readers are asking probing questions, that's very good!)? Well, as my very loyal and very intelligent readers remember from 8th grade science class, white blood cells help the body fight infection. Mom received a shot to boost her white blood cell count today and she'll receive another shot tomorrow. But she will skip chemotherapy treatment this week and since next week is Mom's scheduled off-week, that means she won't resume treatment until September 18th, which is smack dab in the middle of the Jewish holy days, i.e. the period between Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement). I think the timing of this incident is a sign. Since, Mom's news has been generally good so far (notwithstanding some nausea), I think that perhaps we've become a tad complacent about her recovery. I believe that we are expected to return to prayer during the coming weeks, to place our faith in G-d and to ask for Mom to have a full and complete recovery from her cancer.

It's important that you avoid Mom if you're sick (or think that you might be sick) and that you wash your hands if you are going to come into contact with her (this means you G.E.) to remove any bacteria. Also, kissing should really be avoided so if you receive an "air kiss" next time you see Mom don't think she's gone all Hollywood on you, she's just trying to avoid your nasty germs.

Again, thanks to those who donated to my Sister's walk. Aunt Roberta will also be walking this weekend. We're hoping that their FoMmie t-shirts arrive in time for the walk, but I was just informed that there might be a small issue...something about a child labor shortage in Malaysia (of course I'm kidding...in actuality we sourced the shirts from Bangladesh...kids work cheaper there).

Hopefully, next week will see a return to positive news.

Faithfully,Corey

P.S.
Mom's had a hard day, so won't you please make her evening a little better by sending a few words of encouragement?

The Chemo Chronicles

I'm ba-ack.

Loyal Readers, it has been far too long (of course even a moment without your divine presence seems like a lifetime). Well, today I have another update for you, but before we get to today's news, let's do a quick recap.

As you know, Mom's chemo went well last week. However, she did suffer from nausea in the days that followed. We all know that the effects of chemotherapy are cumulative (and on the off chance you didn't know that, you know now), but the nauseousness was far more pronounced than before. In fact, Mom really only felt better today, just in time for more chemo. The good news is that Mom won't be taking that nasty drug (cisplatin) until her next cycle of chemo starts again (in 3 weeks).

So, onto today's news...once again Mom's blood work yielded positive results. Her hemoglobin, which was at 8.4 (if Mom dropped below 8 she was going to require a transfusion) is now 12.6. Now if I do my math correctly (and Your Faithful Correspondent always does do his math correctly...Dad is a CPA, you know) that's a 50% increase in hemoglobin levels. White blood cell and platelet (though Mom uses paper platelets when food isn't kosher) levels were good too.

We had a chance to talk to Mom's oncologist, Doctor Ann Mellott (which is an anagram for "Troll Named Cotton") prior to the chemotherapy and YFC has the skinny...Cotton...err, Doc Mellott, said that Mom would have no more than 6 treatments with the cisplatin. Since she gets that only at the beginning of her cycle that means she will receive no more than 3 more treatments of that no good nausea inducing drug (she can and likely will stay on the gemzar longer). Assuming Mom continues to make good progress (and I'm sure we can all agree that it's a pretty safe assumption), she'll stay on the cisplatin for a total of 6 doses.

Now I know what my loyal readers are thinking, "how do we know whether Mom's continuing to make progress?" Ahh yes, you're always thinking, aren't you? Well, Mom will have another CT scan after 2 full cycles of chemo (figure about 6 more weeks). In the meantime FoMmies, keep up with the prayers and the positive energies so that Mom's test result will be as good - if not better - than her last ones.

The chemo itself was a breeze. Mom takes to gemzar (today's drug of choice) like my sister takes to a sweet table at a Bar Mitzvah. Mom's hair continues to look as lustrous as ever (it's actually the cisplatin that causes the hair thinning/loss), which probably explains the longing glances that she received from the other chemo patients (of course the longing glances might well have been caused by the fact that YFC accompanied Mom to chemo today).

A quick update on My Sis Michelle (anagram: Chisel Me Slimy)...she's all signed up for the cancer walk (mad props go out to Dad for his triple digit donation). If you'd like to sponsor Michelle on her walk you can follow this link: http://www.lustgartencommunity.org/NETCOMMUNITY/Page.aspx?&pid=272&srcid=252&frsid=2096

Finally, I must rebuke you. Well perhaps not all of you, just those of you that deserve a good rebuking. As previously explained (*ahem* several times), YFC sends these e-mails out from Mom's e-mail address, so when you respond to these updates, Mom gets to read your replies. And Mom really loves to read replies. However, some of you seem to think that it's great to read these updates, but don't send Mom back words of encouragement, feedback, electronic gift cards, etc. And for those of you who this applies to (don't worry, I'm sure this doesn't apply to you) I can only say "for shame!" So, to get off the naughty list, please do reply to this e-mail, or the next update might just come with a nasty computer virus attached.

Well, I've said my piece. Until the next time loyal readers I bid you a pleasant week.

Faithfully,
Corey

The Chemo Tattler

Greetings Loyal Readers,

Welcome to another chemo update. But before we get started, I have a special announcement. I understand that we have several new subscribers to these e-mails (total circulation: 34,618). I'd like to personally welcome all of you here and remind you that, with your paid subscription, you get a free FoMmie (Friend of Mom) tote bag (please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery).

Now on to the news...

Mom went in for her usual Tuesday appointment accompanied by Your Faithful Correspondent, Slightly Less Faithful Sister Michelle and Aunt Roberta. Mom did not see her oncologist today (she'll be seeing her next week) so she went straight for her blood test. Mom's blood work numbers were outstanding. Her hemoglobin was 11.5 -- a number which has been steadily rising with each passing week (not quite as importantly, I realized today that "hemoglobin" was an anagram for "goblin home"). Mom's platelets and white blood cells looked very strong too -- all in the normal range.

After the blood work came back, it was on to chemo. As my loyal readers are well aware, today was Mom's "heavy" day, i.e. Mom gets 2 drugs Cisplatin and Gemzar (by the way, if you're a new subscriber, this is where you should start taking notes, or at very least start highlighting your computer screen).


Above: Molecular diagram of Cisplatin.

To learn more about Cisplatin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisplatin


Above: Molecular diagram of Gemzar
To learn more about Gemzar: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gemzar

Now I think we left off on heavy days, no? Of course we did. Well, heavy days also mean long days -- we arrived at 10:15 and left about 2:45. This meant that chemo was a catered affair today. I had suggested Chateaubriand but then, realizing that it was from the wrong part of the cow (it's a kosher thing) we settled for the next best option: Chipotle for YFC and Sis, Corner Bakery for Mom and Auntie Berba. Believe it or not, the eating was probably the most notable thing about today's chemo session (well, that and Mom complaining that it was too cold in the room, but I told her I wasn't going to mention that). This has become second nature for Mom. First Mom gets a blood test to make sure she can go through with the chemo. Next they take too long to read the results which makes all of us cranky (ok, I'll admit it, it's only Michelle that gets cranky). Then one of the nurses sticks the IV through Mom's port (working like a charm by the way. Per Mom, it doesn't hurt at all -- she's such a brave little trooper!) and Mom gets some fluids in followed by the medicine.

The entire process certainly seems less scary than when Mom first started her chemo. Chemo was a pretty big jolt to all of us, but I think we've gotten somewhat used to the rhythm. We have several factors in our favor, notably:
- Mom's chemo is only 2 blocks from her home. Not only does it reduce travel time, but it reduces anxiety (again, we'll blame this on Michelle).
- Mom isn't suffering any major side effects from the chemo. Still, I know Mom would appreciate it if you say two prayers for her -- the first for her speedy and complete recovery from cancer and the second for her to keep her curly locks.
- Mom has great faith in G-d, which is a source of her amazing strength.
- Mom (and all of us really) has a wonderful support system that is truly remarkable. YFC is rarely at a loss for words, but it is impossible for me to adequately convey how important your prayers, cards, responses to these updates, calls, e-mails and visits have been. You have been an integral part of Mom's recovery process. That said, it's not over yet. Please remember to keep those prayers coming...they have given Mom a tremendous lift.

In other news, Mom had visitors from New York (well technically New Jersey, but New York sounds so much better doesn't it?) in the form of Byron and Jennifer. We've been led to believe that all of Hoboken now has Mom in her thoughts.

Finally, My Little Sister (hmm...MLS?) is participating in the Pancreatic Cancer Walk on September 9th (Your Faithful Correspondent is also likely to attend, but MLS tried to hide the details of the walk in a misguided attempt to curry favor with Mom. For shame Sister, for shame). Details of the walk can be found here: http://www.lustgartencommunity.org/NETCOMMUNITY/Page.aspx?&pid=250&srcid=252).

If you would like to walk, we'd love to see you there. If you'd like to sponsor the runner-up (in both the walk and my parents affection) please make donations payable to the Lustgarten Foundation for Pancreatic Cancer Research. You can send your check to Michelle:

I understand that Gail Zugerman, one of my many loyal readers, helped to establish this walk. I've always said that my readers were the best people on earth and this is just another example of their excellent nature (special preview: in next week's issue, we will discuss the secret of my readers' superior looks).

Until next week, my pretties...

Faithfully,
Corey

Positive News -- Special CT Scan Edition

Loyal Readers,

I'm going to forego the usual pre-report blather and get right to the point. Well my friends, I have GREAT NEWS to report. Mom received a call from her oncologist this morning. She was told:
The cancerous tumor in Mom's liver has shrunk from 5.5 x 7cm ---> 4.4 x 5.5cm. This represents an Approximately a 40% decrease in the size of the tumor
The tumor on Mom's pancreas has definitely gotten smaller (no numbers were given)
There is notably less pressure on the bile ducts
The doctor thought that all this news was very positive. Mom will maintain the same treatment schedule as she has been receiving for the time being. So you can expect more Tuesday reports from Your Faithful Correspondent for the forseeable future (and I think we can all agree that, while not in the same category as Mom's news, this is pretty great as well).

I have no doubt that medical science played but a small part in this. It is my fervent belief that Mom's recovery has been advanced moreso by the many prayers and well wishes that she has received. Friends of Mom (Friend of Mom: abrv -- FoM, pronounced fôm; plural -- FoMmies), on behalf of my entire family I thank you for all of your support. There is no way that any of is could have endured these past few months without you.

In next weeks issue, I hope to give you an update on the FoMmie merchandise (t-shirts, bumper stickers, et al) that many of you have been clamoring for. Sadly, I must inform you that Your Faithful Correspondent will not allow his face to be plastered on coffee cups (a mug on a mug if you will), despite your heartfelt pleas. As you can tell from reading these updates, I am nothing if not the shy and retiring type.

Again, all of us thank you for your continued support.

Your Faithful Correspondent,
Corey

It's an off-week, but an important week...

Loyal Readers,

This e-mail is going to be a little bit different than you're used to because it's not written post-chemo, but rather a pre-test (did you catch that boys and girls? -- two count 'em 2 differences...pre vs. post and chemo vs. test. If you didn't catch that, shame on you! No, I kid, but you should really read more carefully, this is important stuff). Plus, there's going to be an interactive part to this e-mail, but more on that later.

As you know from reading the weekly updates, Mom has already completed 2 full rounds of chemo, which she started approximately 2 months ago. On Wednesday, August 15th, Mom is going in for a CAT scan to see how the treatment has been working. Needless to say we are all cautiously optimistic that Mom will receive a glowing report (if Mom were getting radiation treatment her report might be glowing quite literally, but here the term was used in the figurative sense). We're hoping that the test reveals that the cancerous tumors have shrunk, which would put Mom well on the road to recovery (if Mom were looking over my shoulder now -- she does that you know -- she'd doubtless tell you that she'd also like to be on the road to Miami. So droll that Mother of mine!)...

Here's the nitty-gritty -- Mom will go for her appointment at 10:00 a.m., at which point she gets to drinks loads and loads of yummy barium (now with more fiber!). This is what she'll be drinking (albeit in liquid form):

Where were we? That's right, barium. You stayed with me that time...good! (For those of you who didn't quite catch it, that was a picture of barium.) At approximately 11:30 a.m. Mom will go in for the CAT scan, which should only take about 10 minutes. We'll probably get the results back no later than Friday.

***Here's the interactive portion that you've all been waiting for***

Many of you have asked what you can do to help and I know that you are very sincere in wanting to assist. Well, you can. I'm asking all of my faithful readers to say a special prayer for Mom this Wednesday, August 15th at 11:30 a.m. Now I know that many of you are already keeping Mom in your daily prayers and it has already helped so very much. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Here's the idea for Wednesday: we're trying to concentrate everyone's prayers at one time so that G-d can understand how truly special Mom is. If you can't pray at precisely 11:30 a.m., not to worry (but do try to pray earlier that day, if possible).

See, I told you this would be a different kind of update. Plus, I gave you a pretty picture too. Well, we're at the time now where Mom is going to look over my shoulder to give this a once-over (she just did...I passed!) so I'll take this as my cue to wrap this up.

I thank you so very much for all of your continued prayers and warm wishes. You support means so very much to Mom and all of our family.

Your faithful correspondent,
Corey